End of the Rainbow

WARNING: The following post contains material that may not be suitable for minors or work-based viewing. Reader discretion is advised.

~MASTERS FOUNDATION ARENA, MANHATTAN, USA~

 

"MI-KA! MI-KA! MI-KA!"

The chanting from the crowd shook the building almost to it's foundations, ringing through the steely air of the stadium. Beaming hugely, the masked, blonde-pigtailed wrestler bounced up and down where she stood over her fallen foe, waving her arms above her head in acknowledgement of the waves of hype pouring down over her. Her heart swelled with every repetition of her name, an almost childlike joy flowing through her as she took in the adoration from every man, woman and kid in the audience who were chanting along.

Now this, she thought to herself, is what I live for.

Fighting Game Characters Suck #1 - Ryu

So since I got out of uni for the holidays, I managed to find a good balance between work and free time. Enough to allow me to cogitate on some issues that I want to talk about - namely, fighting game characters.

Now, this is not going to be me talking about shitty character design, because there's probably already shitloads of threads and blogs dedicated to that. Nor is expecting any amount of depth from most fighting game characters a fair thing, especially when most are raging stereotypes to begin with. This is me talking about how some fighting lads and lasses are massive idiots who need a slap in the face and maybe some therapy. Because seriously, they do.

And who better to open up this festival of idiocy than the poster boy of fighting games, Ryu from Street Fighter?

Ah, Ryu. Your tales of martial arts mastery inspire us. Your simple design and iconic fighting style have been copied by imitators and competitors the world over. And your gripping, emotional and spiritual quest to master your teachings and become the strongest warrior is what keeps people coming back to your side of the story, again and again. Truly, you are a noble and endearing character.

Except when you think about it, that's all a steaming crock of cow shit. If you want to know why, hit the jump.