Steel Komodo's Character Interviews 2014 - The Results

Alright, thank you all for coming back on such short notice.

 

"It would have been better if I hadn't been in the middle of a job. And did you have to bring the Barbarian along?!"

 

"It does feel a little like gloating, no offense meant."

 

"Oh, aye? Yer jest jealous Aa'm in an' yer not~"

 

Yes, yes, calm down. Anyway, it's time to reveal the result of the voting, which I probably should have done earlier but...

 

"But you had forgotten your main characters needed an introduction, heh heh."

 

Correct.

 

Anyway, this is how it works. I roll the tractor, just as JRM does on FYM, except I do it twice. The first result gets a permanent spot on the roster, and the second - the runner-up - will become a FYM regular and minor character. Sound fair enough?

 

 "(The Chief is in agreement.)"

 

Alright, let's do this...

 

Steel Komodo's Character Interviews 2014 - Sabrewulf

Uuuuurgh... my head. What happened? Where am I? And more importantly, why is my desk not a shattered mess?

 

AAH A WOLF D:

 

"Good evening, sir. I apologize for my current state, but my formal clothes no longer fit me."

...Oh, yes. Count von Sabrewulf, was it? You're the last one I have to interview before I can start the voting.

"Indeed. Oh, I see you have a mahogany desk! And an expensive one, too!"

Trust me, you won't believe how much it cost. And it's had no end of bad things happen to it.

"Yes, I heard about what happened with the Barbarian. Most unfortunate - the previous one was an antique, I hear. What a waste..."

I'm still a bit sore about that, to be honest...

Steel Komodo's Character Interviews 2014 - Chief Thunder

Ah, finally. My new desk has arrived. Now, wasn't there someone meant to come in today?

 

Ah, yes. Lemme just get my Babelfish in... aaaaargh.

 

There we go. Now, let me just.

 

THUNK

 

SON OF A BITCH

 

 

 

"(Why have I been summoned to your hollow totem, metal lizard?)"

 

You know damn well why, Thunder! And look - this desk was brand new!

 

"(Leaves die and fall away in the autumn. Nothing lasts forever.)"

 

Cut it out with the prophetic wisdom already! Ugh, let's just get this dome. Take a seat.

 

...Ah.

 

"(I find it unnatural to be raised off the ground. I hope you will forgive me.)"

 

No, it's my fault. I should have brought cushions, perhaps. Anyway, let's start.

 

Steel Komodo's Character Interviews 2014 - Dampierre

"Sir, I have good news and bad news."

 

Start with the good news, please.

 

"Your replacement desk has been ordered and will arrive in short order. On top of that, we have now accepted Barbara's application and made her a permanent member of the roster."

 

...and the bad news?

 

"Lord Dampierre is here to see you."

 

Ugh... Send him in.

 

 

"Ho ho! Le Bello apologizes for the lateness, dear boy! It's just that I'd got into a rather unfortunate scrape involving some armed guards, a priceless painting and-"

 

Save the theatrics for later, Dampierre. Are you finally ready to hand in that bloody application or what?

 

"Of course, my lad! Here you go - signed in triplicate, as promised!"

 

...Half of these signatures are-

 

"Oh, but Le Bello has to take precautions, does he not? After all, some people simply can't be trusted nowadays! Oh, your desk is a frightful mess!"

 

A barbarian put an axe in it. Anyway, shall we begin?

 

"But of course! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

 

Steel Komodo's Character Interviews 2014 - Barbara

Hmm... Quiet day in the office today. I was sure there was some newcomer I was meant to interview, but maybe they decided not to come in. I mean, God knows Dampierre is taking ages to-

 

CRASH

 

"HA'WAAAAAAY THA' LAAAAAADS!"

 

JESUS CHRIST D:

 

 

"Wha' d'yer think o' that, eh? Canny entrance fer a canny lass!"

 

Did you have to destroy half my office to pull it off!? And look what you did to my desk!

 

"Ah, git ower yersel', bonnie lad! Ain't nowt te be afeared on! Bit o' polish ought te fix it oop! Noo, let's git this started already!"

 

Ugh... alright. Take a sea-

 

CRUNCH

 

...that was mahogany.

 

"Aa divvent care, laddie~"

 

...Let's just get this over with.