Darksiders 2 - First Impressions

So in my last blog post, I mentioned that I recently purchased Darksiders 2, the parallel sequel to the first Darksiders game, which I reviewed in tandem with Kid Icarus: Uprising in April. And despite not having finished the first game (shut the fuck up Azrael and help me beat this puzzle D:<), I had heard from hearsay and quick peeks at the grownup reviews that Darksiders 2 is a large improvement on the first Darksiders. So on that note, here is a summary of the first few hours of the game.

"I dunno, I still think Jessica might not like all the hair gel..."

Darksiders 2 begins with Death, Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, riding out into an icy wasteland on his horse Misery with his pet crow Dust. The in-game narration reveals that Death seeks a man known as the Keeper of Secrets in order to clear his brother War of his giagantic whoopsie in Darksiders. After showing off the fancy palace where the Keeper of Secrets lives, the game lets us take control, and the first thing we notice is that Misery is far better than Ruin, War's horse, because he can actually jump. Also, you have him right from the start instead of having to slog through three whole dungeons to find him, which is always a bonus.

So you ride up to the castle, dismount from Misery and climb up some rubble to reach the front porch. Death immediately gets set upon by a duo of axe-wielding ice skeletons, and this is where the combat kicks in. Two major improvements make themselves apparent - firstly, you can see the health meters of the monsters, so you know how much damage you're doing with each swipe of Death's scythes. Secondly, Death is far more agile than War - he can actually dodge things instead of merely sliding out of the way, and pressing jump during combos causes him to launch foes with a backward flip kick, which can link neatly into arial attacks. Overall, much better than mashing buttons until you see the kill prompt come up.

Killing the skeletons reveals another facet of the jewel that is Darksiders 2 - enemies sometimes drop loot, in a manner remeniscient of Diablo and other dungeon crawlers. These range from various sorts of boots and gloves, to secondary weapons like hammers and claws and even new sorts of scythes. Equipping them increases Death's various stats, such as attack and defense, and also factor into the new skill system the game has going on. See, Death can acquire skill points from levelling up, which can be assigned to abilities that he can learn. Each ability factors into one of two playstyles - do you be a vicious Harbringer, wading through enemies in a blur of scythes, or a deadly Necromancer, summoning minions and casting spells to do your bidding? And the equipment you pick can either help or hinder your chosen playstyle in different ways.

But since the first level doesn't say much about it, neither shall I.

Anyway, after killing the skeletons, we move into the interior of the castle, guided by Dust, who acts as the Darksiders version of Navi from Legend of Zelda (but better, as he is a crow and cannot talk).  This is where we are introduced to the parkour system that lets Death navigate chasms and things, and like the combat this is a major improvement on the first game. War could only slide around on ledges and designated hangs - Death runs along walls, swings on beams and climbs up pillars like a grizzled wolverine with greasy hair. It's oddly satisfying to rattle off those button presses and watch the Reaper leap from protrusion to surface in one smooth motion - not Prototype level, but almost wierdly so.

As we guide Spider-Death through the ruined, icy dungeon, Darksiders 2 shows that Joe Madureira, the creative director, still has a knack for comic-book style visuals. An absurd amount of Warhammer 40K-ish detail has gone into the character design and scenery - from the crumbling remains of an angel statue on this one lift that gets stuck halfway through, to the skull-like details on Death's belt and gloves. I've heard people cry foul on this sort of "overdesign", especially since War in the first game looked like a coral reef that had learned to walk, but in an over-the-top fantasy action game like this it works, in a roundabout way. I mean, it's not like you're expected to take it seriously, is it?

Eventually, we reach the first sub-boss - a giagantic ice beast. The creature functions pretty much like your average God of War boss fight - dodge his overly-telegraphed attack and ram your scythes up his butt before he can turn around. And hopefully you brought a hammer or axe with you from killing the random mooks, because you need them to make your long combos and do damage quickly. Eventually, the Ice Giant is bested when Death sprouts skeletal wings, rips his head off and uses it to smash the beast's body to pieces, and frankly I can't think of any better way to spend a lazy summer afternoon.

After this, we reach the Keeper of Secrets - the Crowfather, as he is called. Old Man Crowface knows of a way to clear War's name, but because Death screwed him over by giving him an amulet full of complaining souls, he refuses to help. With no other choice, Death has to fight, and the Crowfather takes the form of War in order to fight back. While this boss battle is similar to the Ice Giant fight, keep in mind that Warfather can strike multiple times and has ranged attacks as well, so you may want to keep a finger on that dodge button and occasionally scarf a health potion. Also, when the quick-time-event pops up, mash X like Woddy Woodpecker or lose half of your health.

Once that's over, Death kills the Crowfather, in a rather dickish move. But then the amulet the Crowfather was carrying explodes, and the shrapnel lodges itself into Death's chest. Screaming in pain, Death collapses as the Crowfather's form disapates, turning into a black portal that consumes our heroric Horseman...

So that was the first level of Darksiders 2. And even from the first hour or so, it shapes up to have many major improvements over it's predecessor. Whilst Darksiders got a lot of flak for basically being Zelda with a somewhat whinier protagonist, Darksiders 2 does just enough to evolve past that, adding enough new things to feel like a proper sequel and to give me a lot of hope for this installment. The fact that it will be coming out on the Wii U sometime soon is proof enough that the series stands out on it's own, although having already brought the XBox 360 version, I will be unable to take advantage of whatever console-exclusive features THQ add.

The same mistake I made with Tekken Tag Tournament 2, apparently.


*Sigh...*

5 Reasons You Should Be Playing Tekken Tag Tournament 2 Right Now

So I got Tekken Tag Tournament 2 yesterday. And it's awesome. And because I'm that sort of person, I'm going to shamelessly plug it and tell you why you should be buying it right now, even if you're not that good at fighting games. But unlike all those other times I've mentioned fighting games and sperged about the in-depth mechanics and whatnot, I'm going to throw the five best parts of the game at you that have nothing to do with actually playing the game. I dunno, maybe some of this will appeal to you.

5. The Music

 

Listen to this. LISTEN TO IT. It's catchy, it's bouncy and you'll have it in your head all damned day. It's like something you could find playing in an actual club somewhere. And that's just the character select screen - the whole game is loaded with amazing pieces that you'll find yourself listening to again and again. Jin's remixed theme from Tekken 3 will get you pumped as all hell, whilst the Customize screen music is all smooth and relaxing. Most of them are by Namco's Akitaka Tohyama, but a fair chunk of them, like the Fiji and Christmas stage themes, are made by other artists, like sanodg and Keiichi Obake. All of them are amazing.

4. Combot and Fight Lab

Say you've picked up Tekken Tag Tournament 2 as your first 3D fighter, and you're a cack-handed button masher who can barely play Street Fighter anyway. That's okay - just head right to the Fight Lab, where Lee Chaolan will fix you up with a Combot and take you through 5 stages of bizzare randomness that secretly teaches you how to not suck in an actual fight. Who knew that caber-tossing Mokujins, wrestling Anna Williams dressed as an octopus and beating up expys of Ken, Ryu and Akuma could teach you so much about playing fighting games?

But that's not all. Going through Fight Lab earns you a special currency separate from the in-game G currency. These points are spent on pimping out your Combot with moves from other characters. Want Heihachi's spin kick, Ogre's wings and Bob's wierd Shoryuken thing? You can have that! Then take your robotic masterpiece online and find out how much of an overpowered monster he is! Go, Combot, Go! We all believe in you!

3. Free DLC Characters

 

Remember Street Fighter X Tekken, when Capcom was forcing us to empty our wallets for twelve extra characters already on the disc? That wasn't cool. Namco has the right idea - all the DLC characters are completely free of charge, and you don't even need them to enjoy the game properly! So you don't need  to have Kunimitsu, Michelle Chang or Angel on your roster, but if you want them, there they are. Go get them. Then play Slim Bob and troll your friends online. Or play Dr. Bosconovitch and relive the good old days. At least you don't have to pay for that shit, right?

2. The Intro Movie

If the sight of Ogre bursting out of the arena floor and spitting fire at a screaming crowd doesn't get you pumped for this game, you are a jaded person. Also, again, the music is just boss - a remix of the classic Tekken Tag Tournament theme that's three times more awesome than the original. Other sights include Lili and Asuka stuck in a lift, Nina and Anna doing their usual thing and Jinpachi infiltrating a taxi cab to get to the tournament. Of all the reasons you should at least give this game a look-over, this alone should convince you.

But even this cinematic masterpiece cannot live up to the epic that is...

1. Tiger Jackson, Bitches

I don't care what you say about any other character in the game. I don't care if Jin's your bog-standard anime anti-hero with superpowers, if Leo is a boy or a girl or if Lars is more tourney-viable. None of them will live up to the sheer, unbridled, "your argument is now invalid" badassery that is Tiger Jackson. Tiger is the kind of man who would listen to Jin whine about his lot in life, casually say "Cool story, bro," and then go out and buy drinks for everyone with his credit card. That's how chill he is.

Look at him. Look at his retro shades, flashy lights and tacky jeans. Look at him busting out his disco dance styles in the middle of the fight and going whoo. This is a man with testicles the size of Texas. He just plain doesn't give a shit about who or what you are. In a fighting tournament that lets you get away with being a robot, a dinosaur or a giant demon with snakes for an arm, Tiger Jackson still has time to break it down right there in the arena, simply because that's what he does. So what if he's an Eddy Gordo pallete-swap? He's still more awesome than rich bitch Lili or grumpy old Feng Wang. Play Tiger Jackson.

So there you have it. Without pulling out the kind of jargon that leaves Scotty scratching his head, five excellent reasons for checking out Tekken Tag Tournament 2. There's loads more I could mention, but then you'd be spending more time reading this thing and less time going out and actually getting the game. Just do it already.

A word of warning, though. Watch out for the swimsuit DLC costumes. Some things aren't meant to be seen by the mortal eye.



Except now you have seen it OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE D: