Another Cutting Room Floor

So I do my best to update this blog when I can, and always put up some content that interests at least one of you lot. But occasionally, a post I was going to put up here doesn't quite make it. Perhaps I lose motivation, or maybe I get distracted by the shiny wrapping on a brand new game, or maybe flying marshmallow people invade and I have to take cover. Whatever the case, sometime a post just never comes to be.

For general interest, here's a list of blog posts that are either completely cancelled or put on hold until I can come out of my current state of "cannot be arsed". Comment/complain/petition for me to write one of these as you wish.

The RP Whine
What Was It?: Fueled by irritation and alcohol, I lash out at trends in other people's RP which I find annoying, indulging in one of the pettiest gripes since Christian Bale yelled at that stage hand.
Current Status: A Tiny Crab.
Why?: Halfway through writing it, one of my insidious shoulder gremlins popped up and whacked me upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper. "Shame on you, Steel Komodo," spake he. "Do you really have a right to complain about how Goops shoehorns in happy endings all the time when you're going to be RP'ing a bunch of unreasonable dicks this year?" Perspective thus gained, I deleted the rant, changed the title and pasted in a picture of a tiny crab. Go marvel at how tiny he is.

T.E.K.K.E.N - A Creeepypasta
What Was It?: The standard video game creepypasta fare - gullible moron buys a bootleg copy of his favourite game and gets scared by excessive gore and loud noises. Except the noise and gore form a coherant story that explains why characters like Kunimitsu don't appear in the games anymore, and what the shitting hell Lars Fanfixandersson is doing here.
Current Status: On Hold.
Why?: Writing creepypastas is harder than you think, dear readers. The more you try to avoid the cliches of bleeding eyes, hyper-realism and utterly stupid protagonists, the more writing something feels like a chore instead of a fulfilling experience. This one is hiding away in my archives until I can figure out how to make a story about shitty new characters replacing good old ones actually scary.

There's A Party Over At The Bar
What Was It?: Another Disney sing-along by yours truly, themed on Erebus and Jonesy's wedding.
Current Status: Cancelled.
Why?: No point in writing about something that's already happened, thus leaving the song pretty much irrelevant. Also, it's really, REALLY hard to find good rhymes nowadays.

Useless, Disturbing Nature Facts
What Was It?: A collection of obscure, somewhat disturbing facts about the natural world, such as what a Great Pacific Octopus' thrid right arm is, or what the bees in Australia get up to in Spring.
Current Status: On Hold.
Why?: "OH GOD SOMEONE PASS ME THE BRAIN BLEACH" would have been the general response to this post. This one has been archived until you are mentally prepared for Nature being it's usual dickish self.