Thursday 28 November 2013

Pitsgiving 2

"So yeah, I'm with my family right now, in Ireland. It's... bigger than I thought it was.

"Yeah, I've been supporting them with the money I make from my films and games and stuff, and this year they decided to spend it on a big Thanksgiving thing at this great hall somewhere. And it turns out angel families can get quite extensive. The tables are full of 'em right now.

"...Oh, you'll love them, I promise! Well, not so much my dad, he's kind of- pfffft, yeah, a stick-in-the-mud. But Mom's really nice and hospitable, Grandad Reggie's a laugh - and I've got like loads of aunts and uncles and nephews and cousins as well! Like my Great Uncle Kain, who's - no joke - about seven and a half feet tall and bends iron bars over his knee! Yeah, not joking!

"Well, it's pretty much turned into a great big piss-up now, all traditional Greco-Irish, if that's a thing. People are lounging around on cushions and eating with their fingers, but there's great big cups of mead and spit-roasted meat and- yeah, not Dad. Saddo's got a table by himself because Reggie got table manners confused with military drilling. Pffffft.

"...yeah, I know. I miss you too. Look, someday, I'm gonna save up all my pennies and book a flight to Gensokyo or something, and I'll come over and see you. Or heck, maybe I'll buy you a ticket so you can come over! You can say hi to the family and see all Manhattan's got to offer, and check out the Zoofights history. You'll love it, I promise."

And that's when a somewhat tipsy Dirk leans over and taps him upon the shoulder.

"Yo, bro," he hollers a little too loudly. "They're setting the disco up soon, and Godfather Rafferty's gonna give out presents!"

"...Disco?" Pit looks incredulous. "Nobody said anything about a-"

"Cousin Monroe made it~!"

"...Figures. Right, I'll be there soon."

Dirk turns and heads back, veering only slightly, as Pit sighs and turns back to his phone.

"Sorry, I need to go. The family's expecting me. Big dance-off of some kind, I need to make a speech of a sort... Yeah, lots to do.

 
"Love you too, Okuu. Byeee~"

And so, Pit clicks off his mobile phone, stows it into his pocket and walks back down the corridor towards the Great Hall, where a lot of drunken singing is being heard.

Tuesday 26 November 2013

Bear Accessories - A Killer Instinct Song

So Maximillian recently posted a silly video where he sings about Chief Thunder's bear costume parts in the new Killer Instinct, to the tune of Bare Necessities from Disney's Jungle Book, and you can find it here. Anyway, after watching it, I suddenly started making up extra lyrics for it, and now suddenly this is here. So get playing the video linked below and prepare to sing along.


Look for the Bear Accessories,
The simple Bear Accessories.
Forget about that ninja and his knife.

I mean the Bear Accessories!
The bear is dead, but he agrees
That brings the Bear Accessories to life!

Wherever you're playing,
Chief Thunder's your main.
So use those two axes
To bring the pain!

You can't do damage from afar,
So get in close and let us spar.
And when you're stomping on noobs like ants
Then take a glance at the fancy pants
And maybe buy a few!

The Bear Accessories of life will come to you!
They'll come to you!

Look for the Bear Accessories,
The simple Bear Accessories.
Forget about that werewolf's shitty life.

You need the Bear Accessories,
So bust those combos out with ease
To bring the Bear Accessories to life!


Now when you drop a Triplax
Cause you stood over there,
And your face Orchid's fist smacks,
Well, next time, beware!

Don't pop your ultra when you jump in!
When you pop your ultra, do it from the spin!
But you don't need to use the spin
For the Call of the Earth, you can just jump in!

Have I given you a clue?
The Bear Accessories of life will come to you!
They'll come to you!

So just try to relax, yeah?
Cool it, fall apart in Thunder's yard.
Because if you're like Glacius, playing keepaway...
Uh-uh. You're trying too hard.

And don't spend your time in the Dojo
Just messing around.
Trying for combos that can't be found.

When you find out you look swag with them on,
And play along climbing ranks with them on,
I'll tell you something true:
The Bear Accessories of life will come to you!

Look for the Bear Accessories,
The simple Bear Accessories.
Forget about that ninja and his knife.

I mean the Bear Accessories!
The bear is dead, but he agrees
That brings the Bear Accessories to life!

That brings the Bear Accessories to life!
 

Tuesday 5 November 2013

100 Post Special: SK's Cutting Room Floor 2013

So, this is it. RP for 2013 is finally over, and we're off into the golden age of next year. And the best way to enter next year, as always, is arse first with eyes drunken gazing back on the events that have passed. Pairings have formed, controversies were had and jokes were laughed at, but as always there are hidden secrets - things that were considered to occur in RP but never panned out, for one reason or another. And depending on the number of characters involved, the amount of unused stuff varies.

And so, in post-RP tradition, and also in celebration of this being my 100th post on this blog, I would like to present the Steel Komodo Season 3 Cutting Room Floor, full of ideas and stuff that never got used for one reason or another. Hey, it's not Monster Mash, but at least it's something!

1) Section Zero refers to a place in Rutledge where the worst mutants are kept. In pain, insane and dangerous to themselves and others, they're hidden away in padded cells until a cure can be found for their condition. Robbie actually came from Section Zero - his psychic powers are actually quite deadly, despite being a shadow of what the Observer could do, and his cell was specially designed to dampen them in case he went as crazy as the others did. How did Daniel and Carol get him out? He's the only one allowed out for a few hours every day, so he can have a walk and stuff. Also, they give him Sparkle, which is a kind of depressant that some residents began making out of the wild mushrooms that grow outside Rutledge. Sometimes they give it to Section Zero inmates to stop them braining themselves against their cell walls.

There was also a sequence planned where, via UTG or sifter or whatever, some guys would have visteted Rutledge, probably because Robbie got kidnapped. You'd have learned a bit about how things worked there, and met the priest guy and stuff. Also, there was going to be a parody of this song when the mutants of Section Zero tell the Kobbers to take Robbie and GTFO.

2) The guy who runs Rutledge is a priestly guy who is partly based on Gill from Street Fighter 3. He's hoping that, somehow, he can find a way to make the mutants he has in his asylum to rebuild society, which is why I mentioned the activities Carol and Daniel did. His power is twofold - with one hand, he can awaken dormant memories or implant knowledge in a person's mind, and with the other he can either delete meories or edit current ones to make people forget. That second power is the most dangerous one, and he knew it, so he always gave people the choice, when it came to it. He didn't want to risk doing something he'd regret, with powers like that.

And yes, that power was themed on the Truth vs. Ideals thing Reshiram and Zekrom had going on.

3) I was gonna showcase Crusoe's "true" form at some point, but the best I could do was make a shitty recolour of Bills from Battle of Gods. So I said "fuck it" and never used it, because with Daniel's appearance being based on fanart of Bardock we already had enough DBZ.

4) Three Fears that never turned up due to the change in setting where the Plague Doctor, an eccentric old spirit of disease and plague who cared more about alien biology than winning the Grand Game, the Grotesque, a living embodiment of nightmares that would have most likely attacked someone in their sleep in the form of a nightmarish carnival, and the Deep, the Father of Fears who is actually either Poseidon or Jormungand. There was going to be an amusing scene with him where he invited visitors for tea and scones.

There was also going to be an appearance by the Quiet, the Fear of Nothing that is fated to wipe out all life on Earth after the War of the Fears occurs. There was going to be an end-game sequence after defeating Slender Man, where the Quiet turns up and thanks the Kobbers for preventing what was basically Armageddon. But I was so tired after doing the final battle I just said "fuck it" and didn't bother.

5) Swain and Mr. Scars were going to have bigger roles, but that didn't pan out due to time constraints.

6) Originally, the Killer Instinct character was going to be Sabrewulf, searching for a cure to his lycanthropy. I had been looking forward to writing scenes with him interacting with Lyall, and he would have eventually acquired the cybernetic arms from KI2 at some point.

7) While not mentioned in the Mega Post, Firebrand and Persolus spent some time recuperating on the ZFS before returning to Earth. They were also waiting for the heat to die down after Gorr'Rylaehotep and Barghest got so soundly trounced - the Fears would have been mighty suspicious after that.

8) I was originally also going to have a go at the Red Cap, but if you looked her up you'll know why I didn't do it. I also felt it would have been trying too hard to recapture the essence Dirk pre-taming - there isn't much that can capture that particular spark.

9) Concerning Dirk's book plot, it was actually going to be longer. Richard Longshore would have sued Dirk for attempted libel, and it would have lead to a courtroom scene that would have properly cemented the centaur author as a dick and a money-hungry egotist - a kind of mirror-universe Dirk mixed with General Cleft. This was also an opportunity for Dirk to call him out (i.e. quote more Nostalgia Critic) and end the plot on a more desicive finale instead of the off-hand newspaper review I had to do.

10) "Barghest" was an extremely last-minute name for Black Dog's entry into the Halloween Brawl. I could have used the names given in those documents, but I wanted to be a bit more creative. Also, those documents on Fears (at least, Black Dog's and Slender Man's) were actually written a long time ago out of boredom - I didn't anticipate CW and Harpy would actively go looking them up.

11) On the subject of those documents, there was a heavily encoded .zip file in there labelled "HABIT". I'm kinda glad you guys didn't open that one.

Basically, it refers to the character of HABIT from EverymanHYRBID. In ZFRP, Habit would have been one of Slender Man's servants, but not a Proxy - he was a guy with serial killer tendancies possessed by a Jigsaw/Hannibal Lecter-ish demon thing. Collectively known as Habit, they were a wild card in the Collective, and what hints I would give in the files lead to the conclusion that they are either dead for some reason or missing. One certain thing was that he was exiled from the Collective for... some reason or other.

12) There was a sequence planned where the Monster Hunters would have faced of against Dire Miralis. Who is basically the Monster Hunter equivalent of Satan. Alatreon was gonna play a bigger role as well, but then Stan got tied too much to the Society and the plot.

13) The plot point about Rock suffering a memory overload from absorbing weapon data from living beings was gonna be bigger, but there were so many plot things on my hands right now that I didn't want to do it. Also, I was totally going to pull a "Babe the Sheep Pig" and have Rock ask Sine if it was okay for him to call her mom. But I didn't do it because... I didn't want to.

14) Jewel Man was the only Robot Master I was sure of sending up on the outset. Guts Man and Plug Man were the result of a lucky Random.org roll. On the subject of Jewel Man, I was going to defy the stereotype and make him just flamboyant but straight, using his girlish mannerisms to mess with people's heads. But then I lost some brain cells to cider and now he's a horrible characature.

15) There was a bit after Chaosplot where Stan idly mentions tasting copper. If you paid attention in school, you'd know that's one of the first symptoms of an impending heart attack. I was gonna put Stan in peril, for once, so Gemma could be the one saving the day, but then I completely forgot all about the plot. No excuses of tiredness or alcohol here, I just completely forgot it was going to be a thing.

16) Also, to clarify, Robbie is a future version of the Observer, rendered powerless and amnesiac by the Cleansing - the event where the Quiet wipes out life to stop the Fears from fucking everything up. By being exposed to Robbie, the Observer became aware of what was going to happen and the change in timeline that was to occur. He had a plan to pull a Starscream and gain Gorr'Rylaehotep's powers for himself, to try and prevent the War of the Fears, but of course that didn't pan out.

And so there you go. Stuff that didn't make it into ZFRP, or was pushed aside for something else. Hope you enjoyed reading this, and if not then you can simply chase the memories away with a stiff drink. Kind of like what I'm doing right now :U