Nine in the morning, and Scoopa Koopa's was just opening up. Through windows marred by grease, an observer would notice the lights being turned on in the kitchen area, bathing the rest of the restaurant in sickly yellow light. The chintzy plastic tables had been wiped and polished, the checkerboard floor mopped thoroughly and the counter-tops disinfected with healthy doses of sprays of various brands. Now, the staff were hard at work behind the kitchen, rattling utensils and banging cupboards as they prepared for the day ahead of them, be it slow or busy. The ovens and grills hummed eagerly, the fryer sizzled with anticipation and a fine, toothsome smell of greasy food came wafting from the air vents.
As did the shouting.
"Hurry up with those fries, dino-brain! The customers can't wait forever!"
The staff didn't actually talk much. Being pseudo-dinosaurs of various fantastical species, speech was not really their forte, limited only to demands for orders and cash. They weren't the type to hold conversation around the grill, or complain about their mortgage payments, or anything that the average human working in a diner like this would do - they were more used to working in silence, if anything. So there was only one gruff, growling voice barking insults and orders at them, and that could only come from one source.
"Move it, ya mooks!" bellowed Koopa as he stomped through the kitchen, shooting impatient glares at everyone and everything. He was in a bad mood today, and the reptilian workers around him could sense it - it radiated off him like the stench off a rotten egg, filling the entire room in an atmosphere of ominous anticipation. Knowing their boss' temper all too well, the dinos kept their heads down, hoping that by just doing as told, they'd escape notice and avoid the verbal abuse that came from the massive green turtle monster looming over them. Normally, this worked as Koopa was usually too wrapped up in his own ugly thoughts to pay much attention to what his workers did.
Sadly, on this occasion, it didn't help them.
"I'll need more eggs than that!" growled the former King of Darklands as he rounded a counter. "Get your tails in gear and-" His ranting stopped abruptly as he caught sight of something out of place on the counter-top - a near-empty plastic bottle, the bottom lined with remnants of red gunge. After staring at it for a moment or two, Koopa quickly swiped it up in one massive paw and turned to his work-force, brandishing the bottle furiously as he vented his anger once more.
"BUGS-FOR-BRAINS!" he roared, making each and every dinosaur jump in fright. "Which of you forgot to refill the tomato sauce?!"
For an awful while, nobody said a word. Replying to a bad-tempered Koopa was like driving a glacier through the eye of a needle, and nobody really felt like taking responsibility for this particular mistake. So when somebody finally found their voice, they resorted to the usual trick - lying their ugly reptilian face off.
"It was Marty!" that someone piped up, pointing a trembling claw at the Rex next to him. "He was on condiment duty yesterday!"
"I was not!" protested his companion with an indignant growl. "I was on mopping duty! You were on condiment duty, Zack!"
Koopa rolled his eyes as the two continued to bicker. Whilst lying was, in his opinion, an excellent trait, it was a skill that took refinement and practice over the years. And as far as he was concerned, these dinosaurs were absolute greenhorns at it. It couldn't have been more obvious if you'd painted them purple and stood them on top of the Eiffel Tower. Coupled with his current surly mood, the former tyrant was getting more and more exasperated with his own staff by the minute.
"Y'know what?" he cut in, shutting the both of them up. "I've suddenly realized I don't care. Just refill this stinking thing, or I'll make Special Scoopa Sauce outta the both of ya!" With practiced ease, he pitched the empty ketchup dispenser across the kitchen, and the two dinos nearly fell over themselves trying to catch it, shoving each other back and forth in their efforts to outdo each other. When one of them succeeded in catching the bottle in his claws, he quickly scurried out of the room via the back door, hastily followed by his equally-terrified companion.
Koopa gave an ugly chuckle to watch the two flee, but with a single sigh he was back to his former dour mood. The empty ketchup, he knew, was just another symptom of the restaurant's struggle to stay afloat in the crowded mass of lights and excess that was Las Vegas. There was little space for a small, greasy, overpriced diner like his in a world where half the hotels came with their own bar and restaurant pre-installed, and it seemed that fewer and fewer suckers- er, customers were coming here nowadays. Who wanted to bite into a delicious Egg Scoopa Koopa when they could just order a three-course meal via room service?
I gotta do something, the ill-mannered monarch thought as he surveyed the kitchen. Or this place - and my reputation - is gonna go down the drain!
Drat, he mentally added with a shudder, I just made myself think about those pesky pulmbers again. Ugh...
"Mister Koopa, sir?"
Irritated at having his mental spiel interrupted, Koopa whirled his masive green bulk around. "Whaddya want?" he snapped.
The Rex who'd addressed him flinched, but then recovered himself in short order. "Um... just got today's paper, sir. It's about the Zoofights Corporation - they're moving here within the month."
"...And why the Koop," asked Koopa with a raised eyebrow, "should I care? I've got food to sell, money to make! I ain't got time to muck around with some company that doesn't even know what it's doing anymore!" Something inside him cringed, for reasons he couldn't explain, but he brushed them off as Un-Koopa-like.
"See for yourself, sir!" The Rex quickly held up the paper, already a little crumpled from being carried around so roughly. Quickly snatching it away, Koopa yanked the flimsy pages open, nearly ripping them in the process, and took a good look at the major article within it. And just as he was about to lose interest, because it was going on and on about business ventures and other boring things he didn't care about, a paragraph caught his yellow eye.
"Of course, it is no mere speculation that the famous Kobbers, who's name and presence are just as important a fixture as the King of Beasts name, will be making an appearance this year. This motely legion of assorted extraterrestrials, superhumans, millionaires and more have always been present at ZFC's many industrious outings, and have beaten back many an unusual, over-the-top and convoluted threat time and time again. How will our band of evil-defeating, justice-upholding, ridiculous-loads-of-cash-spending adventuers adapt to the glamor of Vegas? And what additions and departures can we expect from-"
"Um... sir?"
"Huh? What?" Koopa quickly shook the dollar signs from his eyes. "What did you say?"
"Are you alright, sir?" The Rex was now looking rather puzzled. "You seemed to space out for a minute there. And you were drooling," he added resentfuly, pointing to a large puddle that had mysteriously formed on the ground.
"Never mind that!" snapped the former king, putting on his old grouchy persona. "Just clean that mess up!" But as the befuddled staff member waddled away to fetch the bucket and mop,he failed to notice his boss turning towards his own office, cackling and rubbing his hands. It wasn't just dollar signs in his eyes - it was plans and plots as well, hatching like eggs and turning like gears in his head. For a brief moment, Koopa was feeling like his old kingly self again.
"Looks like Scoopa Koopa's" he cackled to himself, "is gonna be Koopin' on up!"
INTRODUCING
Harvey Atkin as the voice of "KING" KOOPA
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