Shinobiman: Commercial Break

"Stay tuned! Shinobiman will be back after these messages!"

Our story begins with our plucky protagonist, Kaneda "K.K." Kagome, sitting down to dinner at his usual hangout of Burger Bear's! It's his favourite lunch once again - the classic Triple Decker Cheeseburger, complete with fries and an ice-cold shake to quench his thirst. And it is clear that as he bites into his beloved burger, there is no better pleasure in life for our hungry hero than the simple act of eating.

"Mmmh," he appreciately moans, mouth full of food. "These burgers are as Ninja-mazing as ever!"

Just then, a puff of smoke to the side startles our hero, nearly making him drop his meal! It's Sensei, still in his martial arts attire despite the casual setting of the restaurant, and nobody seems to bat an eyelid at his amazing appearance. Maybe ninjas are just a routine thing in Sleepy Bay now.

"Ah, but Grasshopper," intones Sensei, bowing low, "the Shadow Clan knows of a much greater pleasure than your simple snack!"

K.K. can't help but roll his eyes at his mentor's words. "What would that be? A bowl of rice?"

"Of course not!" Sensei seems to simply laugh off the casual racism here, before reaching into his robe and yanking out a wonderous device - like a clamshell, but bedecked in the familiar black-and-red of the legendary Shinobiman's attire! With a strange plastic sheen and a simple, unassuming design, it could easily pass for a legendary weapon of the ninja itself!

"I mean this!" declares the martial arts master. "The Shinobiman Secret Technique Burger Maker! The ancient ninja art of creating delicious burgers with a hidden surprise inside!" As he speaks, images of burgers fly across the screen - burgers cut open to reveal various ingredients inside the burgers, rather than on top as in a normal burger! Oh, and don't forget those action lines and epic, swooshing sound effects right from the show itself!

"Watch," continues Sensei, now suddenly balancing a chef's hat on his head, "as use the ancient arts to turn a boring old burger into a sensational Secret Technique burger!" And in a quick-cut, yet easy to see process, we watch as he completes the outlined steps required to form this fabulous food! He firstly folds the machine one way to form hollow pockets of burger meat, fills them up with various ingredients, and then folds it another way to seal the burger closed, all in a matter of moments! And then, with a flip of the hand and a blast of Shinobi Fire, the wonderous warrior has in front of him a seemingly unassuming burger - but one, we all know, with a difference!

"Try this, Grasshopper!" Sensei offers the finished product to his skeptical student, who immediately grabs it and takes a bite from it. The results are more than conclusive - the burger-loving boy's eyes sparkle in over-the-top anime fashion, and hearts materialise around his head as the food's flavours hit him right where it counts - the tongue!

"Secret bacon and cheddar technique!" cries out K.K. in ecstasy. "That's Shinobi-tastic!"

Just then, a hideous shape bursts through the wall of the restaurant, spraying dust all over the place! Finally, people think to take notice of the unusual occurances, and flee in fear as the bulky form strides into the establishment! To nobody's surprise, it's that dastardly demon Lord Kroak, and his fearsome face shows that he's got evil on his mind, as usual!

"Fun's over, shrimps!" he bellows as he marches to the counter, grabbing the terrified waiter-boy by the lapels in one pudgy paw. "My belly needs burgers, and I need 'em now!"

Of course, if you think our hero is going to remain idle whilst this devious deed occurs, you'd be all wrong and a bag of potato chips! As the terrible toad continues to terrify the serving staff, K.K. has already come up with the perfect plan to sout out the situation! In a blur, he brings his ninja skills to the foray, gathering up a similar selection of ingredients as Sensei had done before him - only this time, he's carrying armfuls of spicy peppers and other piquant products!

"I'll give you burgers, you croaking creep," he mutters. "Secret Ninja Burger Technique!" And with that command, our brave boy replicates the motions his mentor made a few moments ago - fold one way, add flavourings, fold the other way, and then flip and fry. But to add to the illusion, the cunning Kaneda adds the standard burger toppings onto his crafty creation, making look just like any ordinary burger served at this jaunty joint!

K.K. quickly offers the burger to his nefarious nemesis. "Here you go, you big bully." 

"Thanks, chump!" Without so much as a bye-your-leave, Kroak snatches up the tasty trap and tosses it whole into his massive maw. However, all it takes is a few chews for the spicy secret to kick in, and the fiendish frog's eyes bulge as his face turns red from the heat! Steam shrieks from where his ears would logically be, if he had them, and it isn't long before...

"YEEEOOOOUCH!" Flame erupts from Kroak's mouth, the force enough to send the tyrant rocketing upwards into the air! Such is his speed, in fact, that he punches a toad-shaped hole in the ceiling of Burger Bear's, spraying bits of tiling as he rockets ever-upwards! K.K. and Sensei watch with amusement as their adversary sails into the sky and straight out of sight, to trouble them no more for the rest of the day.

"Seems like Kroak," quips K.K. with a grin, "bit off more than he could chew!" And he laughs along with Sensei at the cleverness of this particular pun.

The Shinobiman Secret Technique Burger Maker! Available now, with recipie guide!

"We now return to Shinobiman!"

Secret Ninja Warrior Shinobiman (Part 2)

When we last left our savior in the shadows, Shinobiman, he was hightailing it to the hidden Shinobi Shrine of Honor Ridge - literally, using his Shinobi Racoon power to fly to the shrine! But the Shinobi Scroll hidden there is being guarded by Lord Kroak's loathsome lackeys, Razor and Vampyra, as well as a squadron of demon soldiers! Meanwhile, Sensei and Doctor Wasabi have a plan to delay the awful amphibian and prevent him from twigging that his stolen scroll is under scruitiny...

"I just hope," mutters Doctor Wasabi, "that this crazy plan of yours works." He never was very good at driving a motorcycle to begin with, preferring the comfort of cars, but the knowledge of the scheme his companion is about to carry out makes steering all the more difficult.

"My crazy plans always work!" responds a cheerful Sensei from the sidecar. "All we have to do is find Kroakzilla and lead him away from the populated areas of the city!"

"Well, how hard can that be?" asks Wasabi. "He's over thirty stories tall, after all!"

The good doctor soon regrets his earlier question, as an awful growling noise - like a tractor and a lion having a spirited scuffle - cuts through the air. The frightened physician nearly stalls the cycle in his terror, but Sensei merely puts one hand to his ear, trying to divine the direction the sound is coming from. And, with his attuned skills, it doesn't take long for him to pinpoint the location of their target.

"That was him, alright," he confirms. "And he's in the restaurant district. Turn off here."

Wasabi does so, although with great reluctance.

And, true to his word, Kroakzilla is not that hard to hide. In fact, he is making no effort to be sneaky at all - instead, he has parked his bulbous bulk in the middle of a parking lot, helping himself to the contents of the various eating establishments he has plundered. As the dynamic duo pull up by one of his feet, the titanic toad finishes gulping down the innards of a pizza parlour's kitchen, before taking a long sip from a water tower he tore up earlier.

"Boy," he mutters with his mouth full. "Destroying a city really works up an appetite. I should have brought some of mom's home-made mud pies!"

"Well," whispers Wasabi to his much braver buddy, "We found Kroakzilla. What now?"

By way of answer, Sensei suddenly produces a megaphone from seemingly nowhere and holds it up to his mouth. Wasabi quickly gestures for him to put it away, but the martial-arts master ignores him and flicks it on. The whining noise of the device turning on was loud enough, but when Sensei shouts up at the monstrous marauder above them, the good doctor soon starts wishing he could remember the secret ninja ability to become invisible!

"Hey, Kroakzilla!" hollers Sensei from the sidecar. "Down here, you green-skinned good-for-nothing!" This gets the terrible tyrant's attention, his head swiveling down to notice the motorcycle and it's occupants a few meters from his feet.

"Well, well, well!" he growls, grinning. "If it isn't that sake-drinking sap and his scientist buddy!"

Sensei rises up from his seat in the sidecar, turning up the megaphone's volume for extra effect. "Leave this city right now," he orders, "or I shall be forced to take extreme measures!"

The effect is electric - Kroakzilla leaps to his feet as though stung, rage on his foul face! The tremors of his landing shake the street beneath the bike, nearly making poor Wasabi fall off his perch, but the good doctor's problems are still coming - and Sensei's are only just beginning!

"I don't take insults from pests like you!" bellows the beast, and he immediately raises one foot to squash the heroes! Thinking quickly, Wasabi immediately hits the gas, and he bike goes speeding away down the road, away from the vile villain's stomp! Growling in anger, Kroakzilla immediately gives chase, titanic treads shaking the earth with every step, and the scared scientist has to weave back and forth to avoid getting trodden underfoot by the rampaging toad demon!

"Now what?!" howls Wasabi, clearly wishing he was back home.

"To the abandoned skyscraper district!" shouts Sensei. "And step on it!"

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Secret Ninja Warrior Shinobiman (Part 1)

(NOTE: The following is technically a cutting room floor, for a character that I created to appear in the Las Vegas setting of Zoofights RP. The character and his plotline was abandoned after I realized it was too similar to Harpy's character of Kevin/Dream Girl Kogasa. A similar character, an escape artist superhero named Johnny Gyro, was also created, but abandoned in a similar fashion for not being interesting enough.

The point is, the characters depicted in this post will not appear in Zoofights RP in any fashion this year. They may make an appearance in 2016 RP, but this is extremely dependent on my life-based circumstances not turning out rubbish. And now having probably depressed you, enjoy the post to cheer you up!)

Kaneda "K.K." Kagome has a special secret. He may be an ordinary schoolboy in the city of Sleepy Bay, but he is also the inheritor of the powers of the secret Shadow Clan of ninjas! An ancient ninja prophecy foretells that, when the evil Lord Kroak and his demon armies break out of the underworld, a hero will rise to gather the sacred Shinobi Scrolls and transform into the warrior of legend! And while K.K. may be headstrong, clumsy and constantly hungry for triple-decker cheeseburgers, he is the hero of legend - our only hope against the forces of darkness! He is...

THE SECRET NINJA WARRIOR: SHINOBIMAN!

Today's Episode: "Shinobiman Meets Kroakzilla!"

Sensei has received a letter from an old friend of his - an accomplished scientist named Doctor Wasabi from Honor Ridge city. Wasabi believes he has found another of the ancient Shinobi Scrolls, and requests that Sensei and Shinobiman retrieve it before Lord Kroak's forces can get it for themselves. K.K. soon finds himself being dragged to Honor Ridge city by his mentor, but neither are prepared for the kind of terrible tricks their enemy has in store for them...