Dirktionary

Ever wondered if there was a better word for "excellent"? Or how to come up with creative insults and exclamations? Or why an entire page in a book would be completely censored out?

 

Well, WONDER NO MORE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

 

 

That's right, folks! From the author of Ironsights: A Mechspositionary Tale comes the complete guide to keeping track of the hundreds of quotables and worditudes that rebellious rascal Dirk Angelos drops on a daily baisis! Begrudingly published by the original Paragon of the Publishers, Count Horatio Longardeaux VI, the Unabridged Dirktionary contains everything you need to know on how to think, act and, most inportantly, talk like everyone's favourite dark angel! Within these pages, you'll find:

• A Complete, Unadultered Collection of Dirk's favourite words and sayings - even the stuff he makes up!
• Full-Colour Diagrams for an enhanced reading experience, drawn by the finest Corinthian artists!
• A Guide to Prefixing and Suffixing: Ever wanted to combine camels and bakery in one swift, cutting jibe? Now you can!
• A Full Collection of Verbal Utterances: For when words aren't good enough to express your indifference or utter loathing!
• Hairstyle Tips for the aspiring Dirk fan! With such ground-breaking styles as "Cocaine Hangover Monday!"
• The Ultimate Guide to Polite Coversahahahahaha no!

Hear what readers, critics and pursuers of witty reparte alike have been saying about the Unabridged Dirktionary!

"A laugh riot!"
-Zoofights Chronicle

"A literary breakfast ceral of some kind!"
-Librarian's Ponderings

"What the hell am I even reading?!"
-The Hub Guild of Writers and Readers

"Dear God, my eyes!"
-Some schmuck we pulled off the street

But don't just take their words for it! What does that esteemed Guardian of Grammar Count Longardeaux say about his latest publishing masterpiece?

"Mein Dieu, ze complete disregard for basic syntax! Ze anarchic shunning of prose! Ze rampant butchering of sentence structure and logical grammar! And as for ze illustrations...! You vould not believe ze number of editors I 'ave lost to zis abomination! Vat vos I thinking, agreeing to vork with zat little bas-"

Hoo! You dang right!

Count Longardeaux's

UNABRIDGED DIRKTIONARY

Available from all good(?) bookstores!

 

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"...You cannot be serious, Dirk."

 

"I am so serious, bro, that if this was a TV show you'd have to set it to Hans Zimmer music."

 

"What coked-up dream even inspired you to make that thing?!"

 

"Nah, it was crystal meth this time. Now hush, I feel another Mechspositionary Tale coming on!"

 

 

"Palutena preserve me..."