Cubic

The following is a response to the story posted by FormerVengeance here, as well as the various follow-ups. Also, be warned that it may change with future installations.

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"You've been on a cube kick recently, Carol."

Carol grunted, but didn't turn around. Sine wasn't wrong, though - most of the things running around the TARDIS looked like they had been cut from cubes, or had been cube-shaped some time ago. A reddish, eagle-shaped creature whistled as it flew in circles around the central column, follwed closely by a white-and-black, angular tiger, whilst a yellow, squared-off lion and a boxy green elephant pushed against each other, trumpeting and snarling irritably. Some might have suspected the technopath had been foiled by a Rubik's Cube at some point, and this was her way of taking vengeance upon the obtuse nature of the puzzle.

The problem was, she'd been like this ever since the adventure to save Ceneric. And it was all too obvious why Carol was doing this.

"...something on your mind?" asked Sine, after a moment's pause.

"Naaaaaw," came the half-sarcastic response, accent leaking through. "Why ever wud ya think that~?"

"I know your moods, Carol. You only do this if- OW! Let go!"

The exclamation was directed at a small blue shark, which has got its blunt teeth in a grip on the deliverywoman's hair and was now tugging on it like a dog on a chew toy. Quick as a whip, Carol turned on the spot, reached out and yanked the diminutive robotic fish off her girlfriend, avoiding the snapping mouth as the shark wiggled in her grasp. With her free hand, she pushed on the tail, and the entire thing folded back into its original cube shape with a metallic click, falling still immediately.

"Sorry," Carol muttered as Sine checked her scalp. "Two's always bin an ornery critter. Need ta tweak his A.I., I reckon."

"...you gave them A.I.?" Sine was only half listening, still worried about split ends.

"Only the same as wut Tigatron got," was the response. "Sum of 'em don't take to it so well, mind, so I gotta make... adjustments." Here, Carol pointed over her shoulder to the lion and the elephant, who were still in the midst of their shoving match over goodness knows what. Obviously, they had not taken very well to the concept of solid objects.

Sine sighed - they were getting off track. "Look, I know what you're like. If there's a problem, please tell me about it, don't bottle it up again. It's nothing to do with-?"


"Aw, nah," insisted Carol, shaking her head. "Cauren kept me all up-to-date on that via Skype - y'know, like how we usually talk when yer off round the universe. Ain't nothin' wrong there."

Siine nodded in understanding. That particular arrangement had been insisted on by the half-giant, of course - she'd rather that they stayed in contact with the technopath on a regular basis, and kept her up to date with their regular travels and adventures. It was rather relaxing, actually, to hear the two babble sweet nothings every evening or so via the medium of live video feeds, because it meant that even though Carol wasn't as regular a member of their weird crew as she used to be, that didn't mean she was ignoring her girlfriends in any way.

It also meant that nobody got screamed at or punched if things went wrong.

"You sure?" Sine insisted. "I would have thought that, after what happened earlier, you would have had reason to start screaming at us."

Carol shrugged. "Eh, whut can ye do? Time travel's just wun depressed switch away from an accident - yah might wanna go ta the Bahamas, then ya pull the wrong level and yah end up with a neon tiger in the passanger seat or sumthin'. So much shit wuz an accident there, I can't really git mad at anywun. And yah got Ceneric back, so that's at least sumthin good."

"Well... it's good to see you're taking this well." Sine could still remember at how ready to blow her top the technopath looked, when it was first mentioned that a Balrog had gotten in the TARDIS and fairly wrecked the inside, among other things. It was still an amazement that Cauren had managed to sooth her down with reassurances that everything was fine, things were under control and there was nothing that couldn't be fixed. Things had come a long way since the early days, when Carol would lash out at anyone if she thought they'd overreached or been stupid.

Then Carol sighed, and lowered her tools.

"It's just... I know we keep in contact, right?" she began, her accent gone. "It's not like you're the Girlfriends from Canada or whatever, who only come once every three months, and I'm glad we're still talking. But... I just wish I'd been there, you know? I could have done something, maybe shared in the adventure or lent a hand fighting that Balrog. Or even checked to see if you even were still in that Safety Bubble - not even Cauren knows how that one worked out, and she was there! I mean, I know I have responsibilities down here and all, but..."

"...you miss the excitement."

The technopath nodded. "I thought it was the better idea, you know? Robbie needed somebody to look after him, and god knows I can't send Daniel to those parent-teacher conferences; the last thing I need is to pay bail money. But then I come on Skype, and you two tell me all about the crazy things you've done, and all the sights you've seen and nasty aliens you've kicked in the crotch, and... well, don't get me wrong, it's quiet down here and I'm not pulling my hair out over everything anymore, but..."

There was a pause, in which things had gone rather silent. The Cube Animals, sensing something was wrong, and stopped whatever it was they were doing and turned to look upon the scene; even Lion and Elephant had stopped their scuffle and were watching intentley.

"...boring." Carol finally threw the tools town and turned to Sine. "It's boring! Yah know whut Ah really wanna do? Ah'd like ta build a giant machine what turns moons inta gold or sumthin' ta save a race o' bugs from economic depression! Or hogtie a big ol' space whale and crash through reality ta save a queen from Daleks or sumthin'! Y'know, something exciting and crazy! Ah didn't reck'n Ah'd miss those days, like whut we had back with the K.O.B., but I... I do!"

There was an even longer pause.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, it was Sine who stepped forward and hugged Carol first, instead of the other way around.

"It's alright," she murmered. "I understand. We have a time machine, remember? If you really want to come back, then of course you can - there's always a spare bed on board, waiting. We can drop you off back at almost the exact same time you left, so you don't need to worry about Robbie at all. And I'm sure Cauren would be more than happy to have you back - she talks an awful lot about she misses having you around."

It was possible that Carol may have muttered a 'thank you' at some point, but it was somewhat muffled by the embrace they were sharing. Then she tilted her head up, and the Cube Animals immediately lost interest and went back to whatever they were doing to begin with. Mushy romantic stuff was not covered in their programming.

"Now, come on," said Sine, once they'd parted. "Let's get you away from those things - you'll be having them combine, if I don't stop you. We'll go and have lunch first, and then we'll speak with Cauren about it and make the arrangements. I'm sure she'll be wanting to celebrate, of course, once she hears the good news."

Carol grinned. "Swiggle Collar?"

"Swiggle Collar." For the sanity of the reader, this in-joke will not be explained.

And thus the two left the TARDIS, letting it's cubic occupants do their own thing.