Of course, it was the opinion of the trio that they should have it instead. The man who'd made the discovery had some very old-fashioned ideas about how wealth should be distributed. What better middle finger would it be to yank his hobby out from under his pretentious nose?
They got as far as lowering Touma - Blue - down through the skylight where their target was kept. They had to stifle laughter at themselves to avoid being detected. Seriously, who put something valuable in a glass case underneath a skylight? That was literally asking for somebody to drop down and steal it! Then again, with the Dial Fighters having the ability to unlock literally everything, almost every job seemed easy to them.
Touma was on the point of unlocking the glass case containing the artefact when it went wrong.
But not in the way the Lupinrangers expected. They expected alarms blaring, red lights flashing. Instead, the lights just slammed on to full power with an audible thunk. Practically blinded, Umi - Yellow - nearly let go of the winch that held Blue up, and he would have fallen bodily onto the floor if she'd lost her grip. Touma, for his part, had to shield his hands with both eyes, dropping his Dial Fighter in the process.
"The hell?!" Kairi - Red - cried. He'd been sure they were quiet enough. There was no way they could have been detected, not by the security systems or by the on-duty night guards. So who would even be around to-
"Halt!"
Three figures in uniforms rushed into the room, drawing weapons. And two things came to Kairi at once. One - this was a setup. Somebody had tipped off the security or the police or whoever these were and they'd been lying in wait. No wonder there hadn't been alarms - that would have given the Lupins time to escape.
And two - their guns seemed... familiar.
"Global police!" snapped the leader of the newcomers. "Drop your tools and put your hands in the air!"
That, Kairi felt, was the cue.
"Come on," he hissed to Umi from the corner of his mouth. And he pushed off from the lip of the skylight and dropped down into the room below, cape billowing behind him. He hit the floor with both feet, dropping into a kneeling position beside Touma, and heard the officers come to a stop just in front of them, caught by surprise. That delay gave time for Touma to wrestle himself free of the harness and for Umi to drop down onto the other side of him, completing the Phantom Thief trio.
Rising to his feet, Kairi could get a better look at the newcomers. They were dressed quite formally, in matching outfits - not police, but something similar. The leader, in red, had close-cropped brown hair and a determined scowl that looked like it had been carved there. To that man's left was a younger man in a green uniform with slightly messier hair, looking a lot less sure about himself. On the right, a woman perhaps the same age in pink. Of course it would be pink.
But Kairi's suspicions were confirmed. The guns all three held were identical copies of the Lupin's own weapons.
That answered the question of what. Now, the only question was how.
"So," said the lead officer, in red. "You're the so-called Phantom Thieves?"
Kairi sniffed, trying to look nonchalant. "Oh, look. It talks. And, I assume, planned this little setup?"
"Well, obviously," butted in the woman in pink sharply. "Items of extemely important value in Olympia, the same place where the Kobbers are going to show up? We figured you might try and come here for your first big score."
"Are you sure these are the guys, sir?" The youth in green looked puzzled. "They don't look much like thieves to me. More like... confused period drama students."
"Yeah, well, you don't look much like a cop!" Umi stuck her tongue out at him, and he went red in the face and muttered something under his breath.
"Enough!" snapped the lead officer. "All three of you are under arrest for attempted grand larceny! You have thirty seconds to comply or we'll be forced to use extreme measures!"
Kairi scowled behind his mask. "Yeah, no. Not happening. Unless you can explain where you got those." And he indicated the weapons in the officer's grasps, which stubbornly continued to look exactly like the Lupinranger's own.
The woman in pink frowned. "What do you mean?"
"What he means," cut in Touma, speaking for the first time, "is that we thought we had the only ones. So unless we somehow shop at the same place, you shouldn't have those at all."
"None of your business," snapped the lead officer. "I'm more inclined to wonder how you got yours. It'll be the first question I'll be asking when you're behind bars."
Kairi felt his grip tighten on his gun, heat rising in the pit of his stomach. He was surprised by just how angry this entire sequence of events was making him. The fact was, he didn't get angry often. Annoyed, yes, but anger was rare, and best left for when the mask was off. But when anger came, it sizzled like a blacksmith's forge.
Who were these people? Who were to try and pin these stupid ideals of laws and justice on him? Who were they to defend the rights of the exploitative rich assholes who ate the poor and wiped their asses with the money they stole from them?! And why couldn't they just vanish, so he could grab the thing they'd come for and-?!
"Are you coming quietly or not?!" barked the man in red, losing patience.
"Like fuck we are," hissed Kairi. Umi gasped, and even Touma lifted an eyebrow.
"Then you leave us no choice." The officer drew himself up, reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a model car. "Ready, team?"
"Ready!" The other two responded by pulling out their own trinkets, and in quick succession they plugged them into their weapons.
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kairi narrowed his eyes. "Oh, so that's how we're going to play, huh? Come on, team!" He yanked out his Dial Fighter, and didn't need to turn his head to know the others were following his example.
RED! BLUE! YELLOW!
By this time, as the opposing teams twisted and clicked things into posotion, the room had become a cacophony of pre-recorded lines shouting at each other. The floral French accent of the Lupin's changers overlaid with the hard-hitting American tones of the officers' devices - it was like listening to bad wrestling announcements in stereo.
PATRIZE! KEISATSU CHANGE!
MASQUERADE! KAITOU CHANGE!
When the two teams pulled the triggers, the flashes of energy clashed off each other in showers of light and sparks. Not that it mattered - they engulfed their respective teams anyway, forming the outfits.
LUPINRANGEEEEEER~!
PATRANGER!
Two Sentai teams stared each other down. On the one side, the mysterious and regal Lupinrangers. On the other, the armoured and militaristic Patrangers. The room rang with the echoes of the transformation jingles, then fell completely silent.
It didn't last.
---
To make a long story short, the fight did not go well. Between the acrobatics of the Lupinrangers and the run-and-gun tactics of the Patrangers, they'd made a thorough mess of the museum. The thieves were lighter on their feet and could easily outpace their new foes, but the officers could hit harder and take more punishment. When the Lupinrangers pulled out their new gear - swords with claws on the hilt - the Patrangers countered with combination megaphones and batons, resulting in yet another prolonged stalemate. And everything else around suffered for it.
It took up to half an hour before the Lupinrangers realized this wasn't going to go anywhere. And whilst they could have simply grabbed what they'd been after and booked it, there was no guaruntee the Patrangers hadn't prepared for that as well. So in the long run, it was better to just cut their losses.
One smoke bomb later, and the thieves escaped via the medium of Dial Fighter, leaving behind three very annoyed police officers and a lot of priceless artefacts that needed some superglue.
But neither had what they'd come for.
---
"Okay," groused Umi as she took her helmet off, "damage report."
Touma grunted as he sat down on a nearby parapet. "Bruised ribs. Sprained ankle. A lot of pain from those lasers. And no fancy artefact dug up by an exploitative colonialist. So, you know, can't complain."
Kairi said nothing. He was looking back at the museum, which was now on full panic mode with blaring alarms and stoplights. Police vehicles swarmed around the outside of the building, with the officers themelves milling like confused ants around the entrance.
Somebody had tipped them off. That much was obvious. The pink ranger's claims of guesswork were bullshit - there'd been plenty of other targets, and the thieves could have gone for any one of them. The only way this new Sentai team could have possibly predicted the raid was if somebody told them. But that left the question open of whom could have possibly known they would have done it. And no answers were coming.
The scowling face of the officer in red. The mere existence of more Sentai tech - copies of their own. The fact they'd been on the ropes the whole fight, and had been forced to flee with nothing to show for their efforts. The first time the Lupinrangers had ever been foiled...
He felt the heat rising in his gut again, and reflectively clenched a fist.
He couldn't remember the last time anything had pissed him off that much...
"Excusez-moi?"
Kairi whipped around, and found himself confronted with someone who couldn't be much older than him. Except for the brown hair and silver suit, he looked very much like a mirror image. The resemblance, in fact, made him reach forhis weapon before checking himself.
"What do you want?" he barked - perhaps louder than he intended.
"Pardon me for interrupting." The stranger's voice had an odd, silky quality to it, like a fine dress flowing through the fingers. "But I couldn't help but notice you've been having... problems."
"And what's that to you?" Touma glared at the stranger with equal suspicion, although his voice never changed pitch. Umi, for her part, merely blinked, as if confused by what she was looking at. Then again, a gaudy silver outfit tends to confuse most people. Primarily as to why you would wear such a thing.
The stranger smiled. It was disarmingly open and pleasant.
"Well... I may have solutions. If you're willing to listen."
---
"And they've agreed to the arrangement. They don't suspect a thing."
"Very good!" The voice on the other end of the line was quite cheerful for someone who was supposed to be in charge of something. "With any luck, the information you'll give us will give us an edge in this case! We'll have those Lupinrangers behind bars in no time!"
"I'm just happy to aid our fine fellows in blue." A cup of coffee was raised and sipped from delicately.
"Well, for a last-minute transfer from France, you're more than helping us out. Just keep us posted on any new developments on their end. Whatever it is those thieves are planning, we need to be ready for it."
"Acknowledged, Commander."
"And feel free to drop by any time! Fridays are casual wear days, and we usually bring snacks. Boosts the officer's morale a bit!
Soft lips twisted into a smirk. "Of course. Noel out."
The phone was switched off. The stranger smiled easily as he leant back in his seat, coffee in one hand.
"Trop facile. They're all idiots, on both sides."
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"Command will be pleased."
Noel Takao
Rank: Espionage/Sabotage
Codename: X
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