Kouta Tokiwa, looking at the stranger, had a bad feeling. He’d been having them a lot recently, but this one was the most severe. There was something subconsciously wrong about the newcomer, an underlying sense that he felt out of place and didn’t belong. There was a faint aura around him, barely perceptible - a kind of haze that made him look as though he was a badly-applied sticker in a children’s picture book.
The body of the middle-aged man lying in front of him didn’t help matters.
“What do you mean?” he asked, at last. “Change the future how?”
The stranger’s mouth turned up in a smirk. His voice was oddly soft and quiet. But he never took his eyes of Kouta as he spoke.
“His daughter was dying. The Bugster Virus is due to claim her life in a week. So I gave him the power to save her. The power of Ex-Aid, the rider who cured disease. By defeating him, you’ve stopped the future from changing and doomed her.”
“That’s horseshit,” said Vince from behind Kouta. “I’m pretty sure we have, like, five doctors who could cure that shit without thinking.”
The smirk widened. “That’s not what the history books say, Ex-Aid.”
“Fuck the history books, they’re written by assholes.”
Kouta decided to chip in before things got ugly. Not that they weren’t going to anyway, but still.
“...and who are you?”
“My name is Heure,” the stranger explained. “I’m one of the Time Jackers.”
“Gross,” said Vince.
Heure ignored him. “We’re from the year 2068. As you already know, that world is ruled by Emperor Zi-O, who commands all of time and space. The entire planet is a dictatorship and all those who oppose his rule are destroyed.”
“Let me guess.” Kouta rolled his eyes. “you want to stop Zi-O from becoming Emperor. Look, I already dealt with a guy who-”
“Of course not!”
Kouta did a double-take. “Hbwuh?”
Heure’s smirk split into a grin as he chuckled. “We don’t want to stop the rise of Zi-O! We want it to happen!”
“You gotta be tugging my tackle,” cut in Vince. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”
“Is it, though?” Heure spread his arms. “Look around you. What’s happening, right now? Plastic poisons our oceans! There are constant wars in countries that have already suffered! A peaceful island chain is nearely boiled alive by a sphere of living death! Chaos reigns on this planet of ours, and the common man might as well shout into a windstorm for all we can do about it!”
He lowered his arms, still staring at Kouta. His grin was starting to become deranged.
“Zi-O’s reign means security. Stability. A time without chaos or turmoil. But the events that cause his rise to power aren’t set in stone. They’re in constant flux. And we Time Jackers-”
“You really need to change your name.”
“-are here to ensure they happen. Zi-O will become Emperor, one way or another.”
“Well, your candidates have been a random athlete and a fat British man.” Vince folded his arms. “Not to undermine your very serious goal, but you are shit at picking Time Hitlers.”
Heure shook his head. “Oh, no, you misunderstand. They aren’t the candidates for Emperor. They’re how we make one.”
“Start making sense!” snapped Kouta. “If you’re the one making these monsters to attack people, why can’t you just make one of them Emperor yourself? You can’t possibly think I’d willingly go along with whatever your plan is, right?”
“Also, I don't think an emperor that barely talks is gonna be a good ruler.”
By way of reply, Heure pointed at Kouta. Who, as an aside, was still in his Ex-Aid form.
“Convenient, isn’t it?” His voice had an almost triumphant edge to it. “Every time we make one of our Another Riders, you gain the very power that counters it. Build. Ex-Aid. And so many more to come. And then, when you have the powers of all the Riders together, and nobody can stop you…”
The stranger folded his arms behind his back. The grin had returned to a smirk, but was less comforting for it.
“With great power comes great responsibility, right?”
He let the question hang. But he didn’t need to. The realisation of what he meant had already clicked in Kouta’s mind.
“You… you want me to have all these watches.”
“Correct!”
The voice was not from Heure. It was from a girl, slightly older than him, who had just skipped round a corner. She, too, bore the same aura of wrongness, like a dinosaur sticker pasted into a Wild West colouring book. And her grin was equal parts childish glee and knife-edge of crazy. The same smile a snake gives before it bites.
“Zi-O isn’t just the Emperor of Time!” she went on in a high-pitched, almost flutey voice. “He’s also the King of Riders! He’s got the power of every one of them, so that nobody who fights him can beat him! And then when he’s got them all, there won’t be any other Riders left, because our Another Riders got rid of them all first! And-“
“Wow, Ora,” groaned Heure, massaging his forehead. “Leave some mysteries for the rest of us, will you?”
Ora turned and blew a raspberry in response.
“I can’t believe how stupid this plan keeps getting.” Vince clapped a hand on Kouta’s shoulder. “At least Skynet kept things simple. You take one look at this kid and tell me he’s going to do what you want, or turn out the guy you want him to be. There’s not way he’s going to be Time Hitler.”
He paused. “Kid, promise me you won’t become Time Hitler.”
SPACE-TIME EDGE!
“No intention,” retorted Kouta, hefting the blade. “I mean, how stupid do you gotta be to blab your entire plan in front of the guy you want to manipulate?”
Ora shrugged. “Eh, time travel’s weird. We’re mostly just throwing stuff at the wall and hoping it sticks. And by ‘the wall’, we mean ‘you’.”
“We’re not trying to make you Zi-O,” added Heure. “We’re just giving you the tools. But history says that Zi-O came about once he collected all the powers of the Riders. So we just need to make sure the right things happen at the right time-”
“You think I want that?!”
Kouta hadn’t realized his voice had turned hysterical. But it was coming out as a kind of grating shriek that surprised even himself.
“You think I want to go around collecting these stupid watches?!” he howled, brandishing the Build watch. “And then use them to fight monsters so that I might end up turning into Time Hitler?! I never asked to have this dumped into my lap, and now everyone wants to either kill me or turn me into some kind of cut-rate demigod! I hate these fucking things! First chance I get, I’m throwing them right off a roof!”
Behind him, Vince nodded. “So beat it. Hopefully Jumpropeman will come across you and write you right outta the timeline, and I’m sure he’d love doing it.”
There was a pause.
Then Heure heaved a sigh.
“Fine.”
And without any prompting, he yanked three more dark watches from his pocket, primed them...
W! OOO! WIZARD!
...and threw them to the ground. Instantly, sickly purple rips appeared in the air in front of him, and three figured clambered out of them.
ANOTHER TIME!
The fake W groaned and hissed, stitched together faces gurning in opposing expressions of glee and sorrow. The monstrous OOO snarled and crouched low, claws extended. And the not-quite Wizard gave a sultry, sadistic chuckle as it posed and pointed a dramatic finger at the duo.
“I was counting on you being stupid enough to want to collect the watches anyway,” huffed Heure. “Only way you can stop our Another Riders, right? But if that’s your attitude, we’ll just get rid of you now. I mean, history isn’t fixed, so it doesn’t have to be you who becomes Emperor Zi-O. The timeline’s huge. We can easily find someone else.”
Kouta stared.
“...This looks a lot like you’re throwing the towel,” he observed. “And also, three on one’s cheating.”
“Three on two.” Vince twirled his gashats around both fingers like a gunslinger. “And I’m pretty sure I’m worth two of these chumps. Let’s do this shit.”
“Have fun!” trilled Ora, seemingly nonplussed by the turn of events. “Don’t be late home, kids!”
And with that, the two Time Jackers stepped backwards and seemed to melt away into the air behind them. Leaving the duo alone with the three Another Riders.
Or were they?
“Jealously guarding the bridge between life and death... The envy of all hearts that yearn for justice... When my gaze descends upon you, victory is mine...
"I am the green-eyed defender of justice... KAMEN RIDER HIME!”
A third rider class in blue armor with a stylish scarf leapt seemingly out of nowhere (actually the roof of a taller building next door) to land to Vince's side.
“Howdy, Vince,” Parsee Mizuhashi said, nodding. “Your store attracting some really bad cosplayers today?” She tilted back to look at Kouta. “You made a friend! Dawn didn't literally build it for you, did she?”
“I'm not that lonely.” Vince was smiling despite the jibes.
Kouta could only stare in confusion. It was lucky for him that the Another Riders stopped, as confused as he was.
“...who?” he tried.
“...paru paru…” Parsee shook her head. “Clearly my PR team needs to be fired. The name's Kamen Rider Hime, buddy. Not very famous apparently, but I'm working on that.”
She posed heroically, pointing at the W duplicate. “So what is that, Vince, and why does he look like a bootleg vomited Gold Plastic Syndrome on itself?”
Seeming to recognize the taunt, Another W lifted a finger and pointed, in crooked mockery of the true W’s signature pose. Its two half-faces contorted in an effort to make the mouth work properly.
“...count...sins…” it hissed.
Then it lunged, making a beeline straight for her. This, apparently, was the cue for the others. Another OOO roared like a tiger with its foot in a trap as it charged, scrambling on all fours. Another Wizard, against all logical sense, started doing pirouettes and flips as it approached.
“I think you ticked them off!” cried Kouta as he backed up, lifting the Space-Time Edge and flipping it to gun mode. He opened fire on Another OOO as it approached, but the half-animal thing leaped over the barrage, claws extended as it went straight for him. It was with an effort that Zi-O was able to block the claw swipe, ending up locked in a shoving match with the fake OOO, it’s teeth mere inches from his mask.
“Laser Labrys!” An impressive axe swiftly appeared in Hime's hand. One used by Kani Laser, it proved sturdy enough to withstand Another W's ferocious punch, quickly being used to parry more deadly strikes from the false Rider. Parsee readied a razor-sharp taunt when her opponent pointed its palm towards her, launching a sudden gust of wind that sent the axe flying. “Paru paru…”
Thankfully for Vince, Another Wizard spent long enough flipping and cavorting that he had time to plug in his carts and transform. A gnarled boot met an arm, clad in Pac-Man themed armor, in a shower of sparks.
“Shit.” Vince ducked low, but the skull-faced creature was already sailing away, borne aloft by weird magics and waving jauntily at him. Then it snapped its fingers and flame erupted underneath the pink and yellow Rider, forcing him to roll backwards with several impressive scorch marks on his body.
“Starting to wish I had more fucking power-ups!” Vince scrambled to his feet. “Could use a hand here!”
“Kind of got my own problems right now!” Kouta managed to kick the fake OOO away from him, and tried to follow up with slashes of his own weapon. But the bestial Rider merely leaped away from the swing, landing on a nearby wall. When the rookie Rider tried to follow that up, it merely sprang off, did a complete somersault and landed a sloppy yet brutal axe kick on Kouta’s back, making him stumble.
“Why don’t I have a watch for this guy?!” he wailed, whipping around just in time to block another claw swipe. But he was on the defensive, and the snarling Another OOO kept lashing out, pushing him backwards.
“BEEEEEEEEEAM!” Another W was engulfed in a pink light as a spiraling beam shot from Hime's finger and into its chest. It paused for a moment, feeling no pain as it punched Parsee, following up with a kick that sent her flying back. It charged forward to press its attack as she stood, waving her hands like Another W had before.
“DOUBLE HURRICANE!” Powerful winds suddenly shot out of her palms, sending W flying. “That was a nice trick; now it's mine too.”
She made another hand sign and suddenly there were two Himes where one stood before.
“Go help Vince. I'll stall this guy.”
“You're going to get your ass kicked.”
“Pessimist.”
“Optimist. It'll be funny as Old Hell to watch.”
Hime 1 conjured another axe and went after Another W while Hime 2 rushed to Ex-Aid's aid.
“Yeesh.” Vince managed to roll away from another burst of flame. “Give me some credit, why don’t you? I only saved people a bunch of times.”
Seeing Hime 2 running towards it, Another Wizard flicked a hand, sending a stream of chains towards the incoming Rider. But as they stretched out, there was a flash of neon pink and they clattered to the ground, severed.
“I’m thinking this Pac-Man deal isn’t gonna work.” Vince twirled his sword in his hands. “Buy me a sec, I gotta switch carts.”
“You got it. Just don't stop to blow on your cartridges!” Hime 2 sassed as she began firing a cloud of danmaku bullets at Another Wizard.
“Hey, what about me?!” Kouta, having just tanked another kick to the midsection, was desperately trying to pull out a watch. But Another OOO was crouching, claws glowing, and it was clear that Zi-O didn’t have the time to make the switch.
Hime 2 sighed and tried throwing a few bullets at Another OOO. “I’m literally two people and that’s still not enough! This is why I don’t Rider pro bono much anymore, Vince.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay you in anime figurines.” The new cart in Vince’s hands was much larger, and the voice that came out when he pressed the button felt
MAXIMUM MIGHTY X!!!
That got attention. Another Wizard, dancing between danmaku, paused and tilted its head.
“Time to turn this shitty situation into a titty situation.” Vince grinned. “Maximum Henshin!”
LEVELLL MAAAAAX!!!!
A very noisy five seconds passed.
“Being twelve foot tall tends to fix many problems.” Vince looked down at the assembled Riders. “Now, who’s first?”
“I bet your girlfriend loves that trick,” Hime 2 snarks.
“Oh yeah, it’s her favourite.”
During that time, Kouta had managed to prep his watch and transform. Unfortunately, his resulting transformation - ARMOR TIME! BEST MATCH! - was overshadowed by the cacophony of noise made by Vince’s transformation. The net result was that Zi-O in his Build form seemed… inadequate compared to what Ex-Aid had become.
“...wish I could do that,” he groused.
Thankfully, he didn’t need to worry about Another OOO. Because whatever thought processes it had came to the conclusion that a bigger target was better. So it gave another roar and was the first to lunge at the transformed Vince.
“Aha, speaking of dicks!” The Another Rider met a giant fist coming the other way, and it flew back a good fifty feet, bowled head over heels.
“Man, I just slapped the shit out of a gopher.” Vince mockingly shook his hand as if he’d injured it. “Cleanup on Aisle Dumbass.”
Another OOO didn’t get to stand up again. In a blur of blue and red, Kouta had run over and started wailing on it with his sword. The beast howled and fought back - but now the watch-themed Rider had the edge, the powers of Build letting him slip under the once-relentless attack and strike where the monster wasn’t guarding.
But the other Another Riders were still a problem. As proven when, splitting in half, Another W tried to do a version of the Joker Extreme kick on Vince, accompanied by a rain of fireballs from Another Wizard.
“He’s stealing my gimmick too!” Hime 2 cried.
“Technically we’re taking his,” Hime 1 countered.
“Oh Hell no! We were splitting up into two psychologically unstable people CENTURIES before his half-molded ass was!” Hime 2 growled. “Let’s do a Vince and kick the shit out of him.”
“Which one?”
“BOTH OF THEM!”
“Okay!”
The two Kamen Rider Himes flew into the air with a cry of “PARU PARU PUNCH”, slamming their energized fists into the two halves of Another W, beating and pounding on them as they reformed into one Rider. Split into two, Kamen Rider Hime didn’t hit as hard, but with two of her, she was able to rain blow after blow upon Another W, never giving it more than a second to breathe even when it landed a solid hit of its own. Two halves of one mind operating in perfect coordination, Kamen Rider Hime was delivering a beating to her foe.
“Running out of magic. We’re gonna have to combine soon.”
“Let’s put our best foot forward first.”
“That was an awful way of suggesting a Rider Kick.”
“Just do it!”
“Hey, makes sense to me.” One of Vince’s limbs stretched out with a sound like a bike chain in overdrive, grabbing Another Wizard by the foot and slamming it into the ground. “Wanna do the usual, Kouta?”
The response came in the form of Another OOO being thrown on top of Another Wizard like a rag doll.
“Right with you, Vince!” hollered Kouta as he yanked the Build watch from his belt and clipped it onto his weapon. “Hey, Hime! Send your guy over this way!”
FINISH TIME!
“Yeah, that works too.”
Right out of a cartoon, Hime 1 rolled up to Another W and slammed into his legs as Hime 2 flew behind him and, with a cry of “STARS ABOVE KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK”, proceeded to give the devious doppleganger a swift Rider Kick in the butt, sending Another W flying over towards Another Wizard.
BUILD! TIME SHOT!
Second was Kouta, firing a blast of swirling red-and-blue that struck the pile of monstrous Riders and knocked them into the air.
MAXIMUUUUM CUH-RITCAL BUH-REEEAAK!!!
Vince came third, a riot of neon pink and electric yellow clouding his form.
There was an amazing explosion. It probably could be seen from space - Vince, somewhere in the enormous cinematic fireball, made a mental note to check the news later. When the smoke cleared, all of the Another Riders had vanished, ash on the wind.
“Nice job, everyone. Who wants ice cream?” Vince stood up from his position on one knee and turned to the others.
“I would.” Kouta hilted his weapon, then pulled out his Zi-O watch, transforming back to his usual, scrawny self. “I could use one, after everything that’s happened today.”
Parsee dismissed her own Rider powers and cracked her neck. “Yeah, that sounds better than what I was doing. Plus, I really would like to know who your friend is and if some psycho with a broken Henshin Device is going to want him dead too.”
Kouta stared at Parsee on hearing that. “...should I know the context for that?”
“And take the fun and mystery out of it?” she shot back, winking. “Ice cream first, then talk.”
“Nice.” Vince did not dismiss his powers. The road cracked under his feet as he walked. “Watch me walk into the malt shop with this on. I’ll bet we get amazing discounts from our popularity.”
---
They did not, because Vince couldn’t fit through the door.
“They don’t have access for giant power armor. Guess that’s what happens when you don’t have any space marines around.” Vince glumly ate his salted caramel ice cream that he paid full price for.
Kouta had no remark to make on that point. He was too busy stuffing his face with the birthday cake flavour and looking rather blissed out about it.
“You don’t have to look so happy about it,” muttered Vince. He turned to look at Parsee. “So, how do you rate the new kid?”
The business elf looked up from her half-eaten sundae that Vince paid full price for and not her. “Eh, a bit...hmm...whingy, I’d say, but you’re pretty good in a fight, friend. Probably better than Vince was when he started reviving the 80s’ color aesthetic.” A pause. “So what IS your name? I’m Parsee Mizuhashi, part-time Rider, full-time pain in the ass, based on who you ask.”
Kouta swallowed. “Kouta Tokiwa. Student, suddenly a new Rider. And, according to far too many people I’ve met today, future Emperor of Time. I kinda don’t want to be, though? It’s complicated.”
Parsee took a bite of banana.
“Um.”
A bite of ice cream.
“Yyyyyyyyeah, that sounds pretty complicated.” She turned to Vince. “And you’re sure Dawn has nothing to do with this?”
“No, but by god she started expositing when she found out.” Vince rolled his eyes. “Oh,and she helped figure out how his power-ups work. So that’s neat.”
“Speaking of,” mumbled Kouta through a mouthful of ice cream, “I hope she’s not worrying. We kinda left her place in a hurry. See, Vince wanted me to learn from people who’ve been Riders before so I don’t end up becoming Time Hitler. As he keeps putting it. I’ve already spoken to Kaede about it, but Dawn didn’t have much to offer. Just some long words I didn’t really understand.”
“Probably still talking as-”
Sudden silence.
“Time Hitler?....Vince’s idea, wasn’t it?”
She shakes her head. “Well, if you want my advice - which I guess you do? - don’t let it go to your head. The Rider stuff is a tool, not a lifestyle choice. The moment you get it in your head that you start to think that you’re entitled to stuff because Riders, that’s when you start going megalomaniacal and stuff. Saw that with Kaede. My other advice: if you’re going to do this Rider stuff full-time, get a sidekick, a buddy, someone who can take you down a peg once in a while to keep your ego in check.”
“I can help with that. I’m real good at that.” Vince shrugged. “Although I got Koa to do that for me, so…”
Kouta nodded. “Seems fair. I mean, I don’t wanna do this Rider stuff all the time. I got other things to think about, you know? School, social life… the girl who sits in front of me in History class…
“...crap,” he added, turning red. “Did I say that out loud? I did, didn’t I?”
“Yep!” Vince grinned.
“Sorry, but you did. Nobody gets that red if they don’t know already they slipped up,” Parsee answers. “Honestly, the only people who rider full-time are the ones who need to Rider least of all.”
She leans over to Kouta with a grin though. “What’s she like? Smart? Cute? Funny?” She wiggles her eyebrows.
Kouta buried his face into his hands.
“...she can list all the Russian emperors off the top of her head,” was vaguely heard.
“Whatever floats your boat.” Vince gave a thumbs up.
Parsee’s shoulders shook and she nodded, biting her lip. “How dreamy,” she managed to squeak out.
“Listen, it’s amazing what Koa’s memorised.” Vince grinned. “One time she just started talking about the Mali Empire -”
“Shut uuuuuuuuup!”
---
The building had once been a temple, a place of worship. But as modern society grew, it dragged away the followers that would have once justified it’s upkeep. Who cared for old stone when there were taxes to file and meetings to bicker in? And so time and neglect had peeled away the majesty of the murals, peeled the gold leaf from decor, smoothed out the folds on the faces of the gargoyles. Now it merely stood as a relic of what had once been, cast aside by the selective memory of history.
It was in this place that the stranger waited. He sat next to the altar, in a stance that was almost meditative. His back was turned to a faded mural that spanned the hemispherical alcove behind - a hand reaching for an hourglass, surrounded by gurning, demonic faces. His head was bowed and his breathing was quiet and restrained.
The air in front of him went wibble.
“Well,” groaned Heure as they emerged from the temporal haze. “That was a total bust.”
The stranger didn’t look up. “I saw. You could have done much better.”
“You’re telling me,” sighed Ora. “Now not only does Zi-O know the plan, he’s gonna do everything he can to screw it up. I mean, what are we, cartoon supervillains?!”
Heure slumped into a pew, finding no comfort in the worn, old stone. “And those empty Another Riders I made won’t last. Without a host body, they don’t have the immunity of a fully-fledged one. Won’t be long before-”
“They already did.”
Heure snapped his eyes around. “What?”
“You forgot one.” The stranger still hadn’t budged. “Kamen Rider Hime. One of many who do not exist in our timeline. And a frequent ally of the Kobbers.”
The brown-haired youth slapped his forehead. “Great. And now, it won’t be long before she helps them put two and two together.”
“And there’s Dawn to worry about as well,” added Ora bitterly. “With her tech, it won’t be long before they try hunting us down. We’ve messed this up before we’ve even started.”
The stranger uncrossed his legs and rose from his position by the altar. It was an oddly fluid motion, as if air resistance was for other people. He began to pace, slowly, down the aisle between the pews, towards where the two Time Jackers were sat.
“Do not berate yourselves unjustly,” he intoned, in a voice like whiskey poured over ice. “They cannot yet know of our location, or where and when we may strike next. And the young officer, Geiz, is still an asset to us. As long as he is focused on his own task, we have nothing to fear on that end. What is more, I doubt that time travel is a skill the Kobbers have, due to the… moral implications.”
Heure snorted. “Cowards. Too scared to try and change the future for the better.”
“But suppose things do go wrong?” Ora looked up with concern at the stranger. “I mean, even if we keep trying to manipulate things, there’s only so far we can go now that they’re aware of us. We can’t make too many changes, or their Time Spirit might find out about us. And there’s only so much we can feed to Geiz before he becomes suspicious…”
The stranger turned his head to face her. She flinched - the way he was looking at her made the hairs on the back of her neck rise.
“This is not something we can back away from now, Ora. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. One way or another…”
She didn’t realize his hand had been behind his back until he drew something out from it.
“Zi-O will rise.”
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