Ah, finally. My new desk has arrived. Now, wasn't there someone meant to come in today?
Ah, yes. Lemme just get my Babelfish in... aaaaargh.
There we go. Now, let me just.
THUNK
SON OF A BITCH
"(Why have I been summoned to your hollow totem, metal lizard?)"
You know damn well why, Thunder! And look - this desk was brand new!
"(Leaves die and fall away in the autumn. Nothing lasts forever.)"
Cut it out with the prophetic wisdom already! Ugh, let's just get this dome. Take a seat.
...Ah.
"(I find it unnatural to be raised off the ground. I hope you will forgive me.)"
No, it's my fault. I should have brought cushions, perhaps. Anyway, let's start.
1. Who are you and where do you come from?
"(I am Chief Thunder, leader and protector of my tribe. I come from where the sky meets the earth, from the great plains that border the white man's kingdom and the Ivory Forest. I come and go with the herds, and my tribe comes and goes with me.)"
A wanderer, huh? Interesting.
"(It is a neccesity. The herds do not stay rooted like trees to one place.)"
No, no, that makes sense. Wait, hold on...
2. Are you an Original Character? If not, what are you from?
...You didn't fill this out.
"(I did not understand the question.)"
But... that's ridiculous! People need to-
"(I am not a fictional character. I am Chief Thunder, who has walked the Iron Road and fought metal demons with claws of lighting. I am aware of my existance, and it does not bend to the whims of the white man or what he deems is appropriate for his tribe. I find your attempts to label my journeys and struggles as ficticious bewlidering and not a little insulting.)"
...okay. It's obviously Killer Instinct, though.
3. What are you particularly good at?
"(As the chief of my tribe, I am learned in tracking, hunting, terrain mapping and weather prediction. I am also capable, as expected of my status, to commune with the ancestral spirits and channel great magics from their world. Last, but not least, I am one of the strongest fighters in my tribe, and will not hesitate to draw my tomahawks against any foe.)"
A man of many talents, I see.
"(Indeed.)"
4. What do you like and dislike?
"(A cool wind and a high sun, with endless praire stretching before me and wildlife browsing in the shade. Cool evenings with the smell of roasting meat and a full belly, lying under the stars and listening to stories from our seer. My two daughters, of whom I am justly proud and are soon to come of marrying age. And lastly, my brother, Eagle - who, regrettably, has gone missing as of recently. I can only hope no ill has befallen him.)"
...I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he returns soon.
"(My greatest enemies are the Wendigo and the Skinwalker. The first a demon of the forest, stalking through the silent boughs and devouring human flesh. The second an evil shaman, changing his form into that of an animal to suit his needs. Wherever I find them, I cut then down where they stand. They are a blight on the hunting grounds and must be purged.)"
What about us white humans?
"(I tolerate them. They have their ways, and I have mine. But I find they are deceitful and never speak their minds. And I do not like the black smoke they make with their moving shells.)"
5. Why do you think you should appear in Zoofights RP 2014?
"(My cousin from the other world, Nightwolf, spoke to me of the Star People and the services they have provided. Of the good they have done to both their world and ours. While I cannot yet trust them, for they are much like the white men of my world, I yet have the desire to see if what Nightwolf has said is true, and perhaps lend what aid I can to them.)"
Alright. Thank you for your time, Chief. You may leave now, and... don't forget your tomahawk.
"(Thank you for the talk.)"
...oh, hey! He only broke the box it came in! Somebody fetch a crowbar!
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