Well, I figure that since I'll be doing an LP of a DS game, I might as well go ahead and review one.
The Combat of Giants series, known as Battle of Giants in America, is a series of action-adventure games by Ubisoft for the DS. Each game differs somewhat in mechanics and theme, but there are several consistent core themes to the series - the ability to customise your character, wandering a large overworld and vicious battles against other monsters. Each version also came with a starter deck for the official trading card game, which I never bothered with.
Combat of Giants: Mutant Insects is the third title in the series, and eliminates the problems found in the prior two games, Dinosaurs and Dragons. Set 300 years after a meteorite has struck the earth and wiped out humans, insects have evolved to survive in this harsh environment by turning into giant mutants wielding the powers of the elements. As a giant insect yourself, you must beat the shit out of the other bugs and become the strongest on the planet.
The game allows you to pick from four different species of insect - Scorpions that wield the power of fire, Mantises that spit thunder and have awesome ninja fighting skills, Spiders that poison foes during the course of battle and Flying Ants that can freeze enemies. Once you have picked and named your insect, you are thrown into a post-apocalytpic, expansive overworld that sees you trampling wrecked buses and hovels, as well as hitting the occasional switch to access blocked-off parts of the level.
Visually, the graphics are quite impressive, with the insects sporting cartoony proportions yet somehow still fitting side-by-side with the realistic-looking world around them. You never get thrown by the differences between characters and world, and it just goes to show that the DS is capable of doing some pretty impressive 3D, even for a handheld of it's calibre. Your insect kicks up dust as it walks, fire crackles and every hit on an enemy results in a screen-shaking impact. Althought nowehere near as impressive as the visuals of, say, Mario 64 DS, the game still holds it's own visually.
The game is totally stylus-controlled - all actions are performed with the touch screen. In the overworld sections, you move your insect by guiding it with the stylus, smash things by tapping them and shooting plasma balls by tapping the insect and dragging to aim. During battles, you may be required to join dots to increase the potency of combo attacks, while swirling the stylus has numerous uses - from activating super combos to digging into the underground world, where more smashing and puzzles await.
When you do get into a fight with another insect, it becomes clear that the combat system is a vast improvement from the other games. You use four parts of your insect - the head, claws/legs and abdomen - to attack, selecting them with the stylus and dragging them towards the foe. You also have the option to dodge or block incoming attacks by flicking the stylus to the sides or backwards. Striking twice in a row allows you to pull off a damaging super combo by swirling the stylus, while thrice in a row gives you a regular combo attack. However, your equally huge and multi-legged foe also has access to these moves - this means combat quickly turns into a series of fast-paced, deadly mind games. Knowing when to strike and when to dodge is crucial to achieving victory, unlike the previous games, which were a bit slower and more clunky with their battle mechanics.
As you progress through the game, you pick up golden gems which are used to upgrade and customise your insect. You can buy various colours to make your humongous arachnid look prettier (I find gold looks good on a scorpion), upgrade body parts to make them deal more damage and purchase abilities that can come into effect during battles. These range from shields that reduce damage taken to elemental abilities that can turn the tide of battle. Be careful - some items in the store cost more than others, so knowing what upgrades will work for your big bug is crucial to surviving against equally-powerful foes.
As with the previous games, there is multiplayer, and as with the previous games there isn't that much to say about it. Up to four players can challenge each other in Tournament mode to decide who has the better bug, or two players alone can face off in a grudge match. If you have no friends (and I pity you if you do), then you can simply enter an AI battle to make sure you aren't getting rusty in the "beating-the-utter-shit-out-of-other-huge-mutant-bugs" department. Other than that, not much going on there.
The Good Bits
Mutant Insects is probably the high point of the CoG series. The boring line-tracing of Dinosaurs and the clunky gems system of Dragons is gone, streamlining the combat experience. Upgrading has been simplified a little, so you are never fussing over exactly what powers your mutant monstrosity should have. Combat is fast-paced and nail-biting as you wait for your enemy to foolishly leave an opening for you to take advantage of.
The Bad Bits
To be honest, the gameplay hasn't changed much from the first game, and this is a bit of a let-down. As before, wandering the overworld and hitting switches can get boring after a while, and connecting dots to bust out awesome attacks gets repetetive pretty quickly. The upgrading tree is somewhat linear, too - one wishes they'd allowed you to assign abilities to certain body parts of your insect, like assigning gem powers in Dragons. Multiplayer mode could also have benefitied from more options - perhaps a co-op mode that involved smashing things for points?
Graphics: 4/5
Gameplay: 4/5
Sound: 4/5
Multiplayer: 3/5
Final Verdict
While nothing like Spirit Tracks for gameplay or Wario Ware for replayabilty, Mutant Insects is mindless fun to the core, and definitely worth a look if you want to kill time and smashing giant spiders in the face is something you enjoy doing.
(P.S.: Entomophobia is the techincal term for the irrational fear of insects. Considering this is a game about huge, fire-spitting bugs, I thought the post title was more than appropriate.)
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Friday, 14 October 2011
Jumping on the Bandwagon
RP Retrospective time! *dance*
SHUMA-GORATH
Shuma-Gorath is probably the only proper 80's character in my roster. I'm not sure if the Dr. Strange comics were still popular back then, or if any big plot arcs revolved around Shuma-Gorath at the time, but there he is.
Shuma was originally meant to be pompus yet eccentric - a comic relief character that went against his usual canon "I-Am-Aeons-Old-Fear-Me" persona. He said silly things, his powers messed up occasionaly and he loved ice-cold cider. In short, a silly blob of green tentacles that loved a laugh. He got Heavy Metal powers for a time, but that's not important.
Then the Big Bar Brawl happened.
Hot damn.
With his Metal powers gone and a huge grudge on his mind, I set about trying to make Shuma-Gorath an actual threat. I changed his manner of speaking to make him closer to his canon personality. I had him hire Eddie Riggs as a prophet - not a smart move on Shuma's part, I'll grant you that. He formed nasty plots with the Necronomitron that got scuppered when Alex beat Jaxx in FYM. Then, after Eddie axed James the Squirtle, he tried to re-manifest into the world through the poor turtle's body. That last one was not orchestrated by me, but by other posters. Damn you, saberwulf.
Now, he only makes guest appearances, drinking cider in a corner and making snide remarks. He's closer to his cranky, uppity self shown in Marvel vs. Capcom, and while that's not much in the way of character development, it highlights that while eldritch abominations can also be played for laughs, it's also a good case of what happens when your plotting gets foiled. Shuma's gone the David/Jaxx route of being "that drunk guy in the corner", and I'm not pulling him out of there any time soon.
EDDIE RIGGS
Eddie gets into Zoofights because of Glam Metal being popular in the 80's. While Eddie normally hates Glam Metal, any reason will do to basically put Jack Black into the bar.
Apart from being used by Shuma-Gorath, Eddie hasn't changed much over the course of the tournament. He's still an enthusiastic half-demon roadie, he still looks after a band called Ironheade, he still help out occasionaly and he is still Jack Black. Not much to say, really, except METAL!
RAIN (Nicola Winter)
Rain.
Sweet Merciful MacGuyver, Rain.
Where shall I even begin with this guy, a character who only barely makes it into Zoofights by basically being a huge musical in-joke between the guys at Midway?
Let's start from when he emerged from Gezora's washing-up water. I had originally intended him to be something of a goofy, hilarious douche, kind of the way I wrote him in my old fanfic "Stupidity in a Red Robe". Yet at the same time, Rain was meant to be the straight man to Eddie, the one who kept his enthusiasm in check and pointed out the flaws in his various "brilliant" schemes. He would also be a pompous brat on the side.
Then Ilsaria fell in love with Red Spy.
This happened because I was intending to have Rain impress her somehow. But then a weekend at London happened, and I was unable to post owing to no internet connection. So Rain pretty much sat in a corner for three days while a backstabbing Frenchman and a hired hunter got cosy, dashing all of my hopes and dreams. I tried to compensate by making him murderously angsty about it all, because when you come from a world where ripping out spines is normal you respond to things not going your way by, well... ripping out people's spines. But that plan got foiled, too, and so Rain entered a phase where he was a creepy stalker one minute and then was Eddie's drinking bud and fall guy the next.
For a while, I wondered if I'd written him into a corner.
And then along came Stella.
Cue the diabetes.
I already covered what happened in that pairing in a previous post, but let's just say that Rain, or Nick, as we now call him, has gone from a stuck-up brat into Bizzaro Alex - kind, compassionate and considerate, except for betraying his country and working under Shao Kahn the Konquerer. And now he's an Emperor.
Welp.
On a side note, I'm also jumping on another bandwagon and examining various "What-If" situations with my characters. One situation I'm examining is, "What if Rain didn't go back inside the bar after his talk with Erebus?" A.K.A, Evil Rain. I'm sure that what I come up with will throw everyone for a loop, and have some unneccesary grim or dark thrown in.
I also may post some rejected characters and dplotline ideas later.
SHUMA-GORATH
Shuma-Gorath is probably the only proper 80's character in my roster. I'm not sure if the Dr. Strange comics were still popular back then, or if any big plot arcs revolved around Shuma-Gorath at the time, but there he is.
Shuma was originally meant to be pompus yet eccentric - a comic relief character that went against his usual canon "I-Am-Aeons-Old-Fear-Me" persona. He said silly things, his powers messed up occasionaly and he loved ice-cold cider. In short, a silly blob of green tentacles that loved a laugh. He got Heavy Metal powers for a time, but that's not important.
Then the Big Bar Brawl happened.
Hot damn.
With his Metal powers gone and a huge grudge on his mind, I set about trying to make Shuma-Gorath an actual threat. I changed his manner of speaking to make him closer to his canon personality. I had him hire Eddie Riggs as a prophet - not a smart move on Shuma's part, I'll grant you that. He formed nasty plots with the Necronomitron that got scuppered when Alex beat Jaxx in FYM. Then, after Eddie axed James the Squirtle, he tried to re-manifest into the world through the poor turtle's body. That last one was not orchestrated by me, but by other posters. Damn you, saberwulf.
Now, he only makes guest appearances, drinking cider in a corner and making snide remarks. He's closer to his cranky, uppity self shown in Marvel vs. Capcom, and while that's not much in the way of character development, it highlights that while eldritch abominations can also be played for laughs, it's also a good case of what happens when your plotting gets foiled. Shuma's gone the David/Jaxx route of being "that drunk guy in the corner", and I'm not pulling him out of there any time soon.
EDDIE RIGGS
Eddie gets into Zoofights because of Glam Metal being popular in the 80's. While Eddie normally hates Glam Metal, any reason will do to basically put Jack Black into the bar.
Apart from being used by Shuma-Gorath, Eddie hasn't changed much over the course of the tournament. He's still an enthusiastic half-demon roadie, he still looks after a band called Ironheade, he still help out occasionaly and he is still Jack Black. Not much to say, really, except METAL!
RAIN (Nicola Winter)
Rain.
Sweet Merciful MacGuyver, Rain.
Where shall I even begin with this guy, a character who only barely makes it into Zoofights by basically being a huge musical in-joke between the guys at Midway?
Let's start from when he emerged from Gezora's washing-up water. I had originally intended him to be something of a goofy, hilarious douche, kind of the way I wrote him in my old fanfic "Stupidity in a Red Robe". Yet at the same time, Rain was meant to be the straight man to Eddie, the one who kept his enthusiasm in check and pointed out the flaws in his various "brilliant" schemes. He would also be a pompous brat on the side.
Then Ilsaria fell in love with Red Spy.
This happened because I was intending to have Rain impress her somehow. But then a weekend at London happened, and I was unable to post owing to no internet connection. So Rain pretty much sat in a corner for three days while a backstabbing Frenchman and a hired hunter got cosy, dashing all of my hopes and dreams. I tried to compensate by making him murderously angsty about it all, because when you come from a world where ripping out spines is normal you respond to things not going your way by, well... ripping out people's spines. But that plan got foiled, too, and so Rain entered a phase where he was a creepy stalker one minute and then was Eddie's drinking bud and fall guy the next.
For a while, I wondered if I'd written him into a corner.
And then along came Stella.
Cue the diabetes.
I already covered what happened in that pairing in a previous post, but let's just say that Rain, or Nick, as we now call him, has gone from a stuck-up brat into Bizzaro Alex - kind, compassionate and considerate, except for betraying his country and working under Shao Kahn the Konquerer. And now he's an Emperor.
Welp.
On a side note, I'm also jumping on another bandwagon and examining various "What-If" situations with my characters. One situation I'm examining is, "What if Rain didn't go back inside the bar after his talk with Erebus?" A.K.A, Evil Rain. I'm sure that what I come up with will throw everyone for a loop, and have some unneccesary grim or dark thrown in.
I also may post some rejected characters and dplotline ideas later.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Kirby Christmas Carols - A Skype Conversation
This is what happens when AlextheJanitor and I joke about giving seperate Kirbies different names.
[17:10:03] Mari Fortuna: I'm gonna type up a funny grocery shopping scene(s) for the five that left
[17:10:17] Mari Fortuna: they may have defeated a dark force
[17:10:19] Mari Fortuna: but
[17:10:35] Mari Fortuna: can they defeat...A LITTLE GIRL WHO LIKES TO HUG THEM?!?
[17:10:43] Thomas Newton: noooooo D:
[17:10:56] Mari Fortuna: "i will love them and squeeze them and call them George"
[17:11:22] Thomas Newton: One of them will have to call himself George after that
[17:11:29] Thomas Newton: there is no other alternative
[17:11:33] Mari Fortuna: oh god
[17:11:36] Thomas Newton: and the other Kirbies will tease him for it
[17:11:49] Mari Fortuna: George the red-nosed kirby
[17:11:55] Mari Fortuna: had a little shiny nose
[17:12:00] Mari Fortuna: and if you ever saw him
[17:12:04] Mari Fortuna: you would even say it glows
[17:12:07] Thomas Newton: lol
[17:12:13] Mari Fortuna: all of the other kirbies
[17:12:24] Mari Fortuna: laughed at him and called him names
[17:12:42] Mari Fortuna: they wouldn't let poor Georgie
[17:12:49] Mari Fortuna: play in any Kirby games!
[17:12:51] Thomas Newton: XD
[17:13:01] Mari Fortuna: Then one night on christmas eve
[17:13:05] Mari Fortuna: Dedede came to say
[17:13:16] Mari Fortuna: "Georgie with your nose so bright"
[17:13:31] Mari Fortuna: "won't you light the way tonight?" (oh gawd can't remember this line D:)
[17:13:38] Mari Fortuna: *D: )
[17:13:47] Thomas Newton: meh, it works
[17:13:50] Mari Fortuna: then I forgot the rest
[17:13:53] Mari Fortuna: shit
[17:13:53] Mari Fortuna: D:
[17:14:01] Thomas Newton: Then how the Kirbies loved him
[17:14:07] Thomas Newton: As they shouted out with glee
[17:14:17] Thomas Newton: "George the red-nosed Kirby,"
[17:14:24] Thomas Newton: "You'll go down in history!"
[17:14:25] Mari Fortuna: xD
[17:14:34] Thomas Newton: I am going to blog this shit
[17:14:38] Thomas Newton: for the good of humanity
[17:14:39] Mari Fortuna: DO IT
[17:10:03] Mari Fortuna: I'm gonna type up a funny grocery shopping scene(s) for the five that left
[17:10:17] Mari Fortuna: they may have defeated a dark force
[17:10:19] Mari Fortuna: but
[17:10:35] Mari Fortuna: can they defeat...A LITTLE GIRL WHO LIKES TO HUG THEM?!?
[17:10:43] Thomas Newton: noooooo D:
[17:10:56] Mari Fortuna: "i will love them and squeeze them and call them George"
[17:11:22] Thomas Newton: One of them will have to call himself George after that
[17:11:29] Thomas Newton: there is no other alternative
[17:11:33] Mari Fortuna: oh god
[17:11:36] Thomas Newton: and the other Kirbies will tease him for it
[17:11:49] Mari Fortuna: George the red-nosed kirby
[17:11:55] Mari Fortuna: had a little shiny nose
[17:12:00] Mari Fortuna: and if you ever saw him
[17:12:04] Mari Fortuna: you would even say it glows
[17:12:07] Thomas Newton: lol
[17:12:13] Mari Fortuna: all of the other kirbies
[17:12:24] Mari Fortuna: laughed at him and called him names
[17:12:42] Mari Fortuna: they wouldn't let poor Georgie
[17:12:49] Mari Fortuna: play in any Kirby games!
[17:12:51] Thomas Newton: XD
[17:13:01] Mari Fortuna: Then one night on christmas eve
[17:13:05] Mari Fortuna: Dedede came to say
[17:13:16] Mari Fortuna: "Georgie with your nose so bright"
[17:13:31] Mari Fortuna: "won't you light the way tonight?" (oh gawd can't remember this line D:)
[17:13:38] Mari Fortuna: *D: )
[17:13:47] Thomas Newton: meh, it works
[17:13:50] Mari Fortuna: then I forgot the rest
[17:13:53] Mari Fortuna: shit
[17:13:53] Mari Fortuna: D:
[17:14:01] Thomas Newton: Then how the Kirbies loved him
[17:14:07] Thomas Newton: As they shouted out with glee
[17:14:17] Thomas Newton: "George the red-nosed Kirby,"
[17:14:24] Thomas Newton: "You'll go down in history!"
[17:14:25] Mari Fortuna: xD
[17:14:34] Thomas Newton: I am going to blog this shit
[17:14:38] Thomas Newton: for the good of humanity
[17:14:39] Mari Fortuna: DO IT
Monday, 10 October 2011
Why Street Fighter X Tekken is Awesome
So Nick and Stella are married, and have at least seven pets to look after. Corgis, corgis everywhere. And I almost missed class this morning. That's why you don't stay up until 3 directing RP Royal Weddings.
Meanwhile, Street Fighter X Tekken is going to be an awesome game and you should buy it when it comes out. Why?
This is why, beeyatch.
Meanwhile, Street Fighter X Tekken is going to be an awesome game and you should buy it when it comes out. Why?
This is why, beeyatch.
Sunday, 9 October 2011
It Begins + My Gaming Interests
At 11:30 Forum Time, we all go to Outworld and watch a demigod ninja get married to a ninja orator. D'aaws will be had, and then there will be feasting, drinking and presents. You know, typical bar stuff.
On a side note, now for Non-RP nonsense.
When I'm not RP'ing or out doing my uni classes, I generally enjoy playing video games. Whilst Deleter prefers shooters, real-time strategy games and so on, I'm more into 2-player fighting games such as Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter and Tekken. Console-wise, I mostly play the Wii, because Del swiped the X-Box 360 when he went to uni. You'll find me playing all sorts of games on that, including Mario Strikers Charged, Wii Sports, Super Mario Galaxy and so on.
In the handheld department, I own a PSP which I keep at home, and use mostly for trying and failing to master Monster Hunter Freedom 2. In my uni room I keep a DS, which has a very large collection of both DS and GBA games, a lot of which I have played almost to death.
Future game-related things I'm looking forward to include:
More on gaming when I get the time. Also, one day I will jump on the bandwagon and write a proper RP Retrospective.
On a side note, now for Non-RP nonsense.
When I'm not RP'ing or out doing my uni classes, I generally enjoy playing video games. Whilst Deleter prefers shooters, real-time strategy games and so on, I'm more into 2-player fighting games such as Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter and Tekken. Console-wise, I mostly play the Wii, because Del swiped the X-Box 360 when he went to uni. You'll find me playing all sorts of games on that, including Mario Strikers Charged, Wii Sports, Super Mario Galaxy and so on.
In the handheld department, I own a PSP which I keep at home, and use mostly for trying and failing to master Monster Hunter Freedom 2. In my uni room I keep a DS, which has a very large collection of both DS and GBA games, a lot of which I have played almost to death.
Future game-related things I'm looking forward to include:
- Street Fighter x Tekken (XBox 360, PS3)
- A Nintendo 3DS, so I can enjoy:
- Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D
- Nintendogs + Cats
- Mario Kart 7
- Kid Icarus: Uprising
- Super Street Figher 4 3D Edition
- Tekken 3D Prime Edition
- Pilotwings Resort
- Zelda Skyward Sword (Wii)
- Batman Arkham City (Xbox 360, PS3)
More on gaming when I get the time. Also, one day I will jump on the bandwagon and write a proper RP Retrospective.
Friday, 7 October 2011
Future RP Plan #1 - Kombat Rage
Welp.
That Fite sure happened, didn't it? Then Sine and Jumpropeman argued, again, and this time it almost came to blows. At the rate they're going, I can see one of them just snapping and challenging the other to a Fite, or at the very worst an actual fight right in the street. And it will be of cosmic proportions, because we're talking about a time ghost and a intergalatic deliverywoman here.
Which brings me to a plot idea I have for next year.
In Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (yes, I own that game :P), the realms of MK and DC were merged together by the creation of Dark Kahn, a fusion of Darkseid and Shao Kahn. The friction between the two realms created an energy that not only redistributed the relative power of the fighters (explaining how the Joker can take on Raiden), but also occasionaly induced violent fits of rage in characters, causing them to attack anyone around them - even best friends. Dark Kahn used these fights to hasten the merging of the worlds, which would eventually cause them both to rip apart and create a lifeless utopia where Dark Kahn was free to exist, as he could not live in either world due to being a composite of two beings from each.
While there probably won't be any DC characters turning up next year, the multi-dimensional nature of the RP'ing could easily be a similar set-up for this sort of "Hate Plague" plot. The presence of multiple worlds causes an energy to leak out from the cracks in reality, an energy that actively seeks out conflict and causes heightened aggression in the bargoers. Minor arguments turn into full-blown fistfights. A petty grudge turns into murderous hatred. Zephyrus' attempts at getting people to make up will either be ignored at best, or met with outright hostility at worst. Even sweet, mild-mannered Sarah will go Axe Craxy at the drop of a hat. Friendships, trusts and romances will be tested to their limit as the characters struggle to control the Rage.
The solution to this problem probably wouldn't be to kick the shit out of it. For one thing, that's what it wants - conflict. To try and solve conflict with conflict would only make it stronger. The solution would be a bit more philosophical - stuff about friendships and emotions. Or, there could be an expedition to locate the source of the Rage and shut it off, either through techincal wizardry or words. Whatever the solution, this is a poltline that strikes at the core value of the bar - friendship. It puts their little community at risk by turning them against one another, and only by overcoming their base instincts and putting trust first can they overcome it.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Let me know.
Also, on an unrelated note, I really need to shave.
That Fite sure happened, didn't it? Then Sine and Jumpropeman argued, again, and this time it almost came to blows. At the rate they're going, I can see one of them just snapping and challenging the other to a Fite, or at the very worst an actual fight right in the street. And it will be of cosmic proportions, because we're talking about a time ghost and a intergalatic deliverywoman here.
Which brings me to a plot idea I have for next year.
In Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (yes, I own that game :P), the realms of MK and DC were merged together by the creation of Dark Kahn, a fusion of Darkseid and Shao Kahn. The friction between the two realms created an energy that not only redistributed the relative power of the fighters (explaining how the Joker can take on Raiden), but also occasionaly induced violent fits of rage in characters, causing them to attack anyone around them - even best friends. Dark Kahn used these fights to hasten the merging of the worlds, which would eventually cause them both to rip apart and create a lifeless utopia where Dark Kahn was free to exist, as he could not live in either world due to being a composite of two beings from each.
While there probably won't be any DC characters turning up next year, the multi-dimensional nature of the RP'ing could easily be a similar set-up for this sort of "Hate Plague" plot. The presence of multiple worlds causes an energy to leak out from the cracks in reality, an energy that actively seeks out conflict and causes heightened aggression in the bargoers. Minor arguments turn into full-blown fistfights. A petty grudge turns into murderous hatred. Zephyrus' attempts at getting people to make up will either be ignored at best, or met with outright hostility at worst. Even sweet, mild-mannered Sarah will go Axe Craxy at the drop of a hat. Friendships, trusts and romances will be tested to their limit as the characters struggle to control the Rage.
The solution to this problem probably wouldn't be to kick the shit out of it. For one thing, that's what it wants - conflict. To try and solve conflict with conflict would only make it stronger. The solution would be a bit more philosophical - stuff about friendships and emotions. Or, there could be an expedition to locate the source of the Rage and shut it off, either through techincal wizardry or words. Whatever the solution, this is a poltline that strikes at the core value of the bar - friendship. It puts their little community at risk by turning them against one another, and only by overcoming their base instincts and putting trust first can they overcome it.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Let me know.
Also, on an unrelated note, I really need to shave.
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Medieval Old Spice - A Skype Conversation
Sometimes, Del and I come up with the craziest crap when on Skype.
[19:21:11] Jake Newton: loleth
[19:21:21] Thomas Newton: Greetings, fair maidens.
[19:21:28] Thomas Newton: observe thy knight.
[19:21:32] Thomas Newton: Now observe me
[19:21:37] Thomas Newton: Observe thy knight once more
[19:21:41] Thomas Newton: then observe me
[19:21:53] Thomas Newton: Regrettably, you knight is not me
[19:22:34] Thomas Newton: But, if thy knight bathed with Old Spice cleansing oils rather than regular soaps, then he could smell akin to me
[19:24:26] Jake Newton: blog that shit
[19:24:28] Jake Newton: now
[19:21:11] Jake Newton: loleth
[19:21:21] Thomas Newton: Greetings, fair maidens.
[19:21:28] Thomas Newton: observe thy knight.
[19:21:32] Thomas Newton: Now observe me
[19:21:37] Thomas Newton: Observe thy knight once more
[19:21:41] Thomas Newton: then observe me
[19:21:53] Thomas Newton: Regrettably, you knight is not me
[19:22:34] Thomas Newton: But, if thy knight bathed with Old Spice cleansing oils rather than regular soaps, then he could smell akin to me
[19:24:26] Jake Newton: blog that shit
[19:24:28] Jake Newton: now
Stel-Stel + How to play RNG of Fire
Stella: Goood niiight Nicky-pooooo...
Rain: Urgh... G'night, Shtel-Shtel...
Eddie: Stel-Stel?!
Pech: "Sstell-sstell? By the Hydra..."
Sarah: Stel-Stel? That's so cuuuuute!
"It really is, isn't it?" Four said wistfully, while Pech pretended to vomit.
*Insert Smug Emote Here*
Also, here's the rules for RNG of Fire, that classic drinking game. You roll a 1-13 tractor for every time your character draws a card. The results are as follows:
Have fun!
Rain: Urgh... G'night, Shtel-Shtel...
Eddie: Stel-Stel?!
Pech: "Sstell-sstell? By the Hydra..."
Sarah: Stel-Stel? That's so cuuuuute!
"It really is, isn't it?" Four said wistfully, while Pech pretended to vomit.
*Insert Smug Emote Here*
Also, here's the rules for RNG of Fire, that classic drinking game. You roll a 1-13 tractor for every time your character draws a card. The results are as follows:
- 1 (Ace) - Waterfall. The person who draws an ace must roll the standard 1-21 skill tractor to determine how long they drink. The others only stop drinking when they do.
- 2 - Nominate another character to take a swig.
- 3 - Your character takes a swig.
- 4 - All female characters present take a swig.
- 5 - Roll a 1-21 skill tractor for how quickly your character slams his thumb down. Highest wins, lowest takes a swig.
- 6 - All male characters take a swig.
- 7 - Same as 5, roll a skill tractor for how quickly a character raises ther hand. Lowest has to take a swig.
- 8 - The character nominates someone for a drinking buddy. When either one drinks, the other has to as well.
- 9 - The character picks a word, and the others must find words that rhyme with it. Anyone who messes up has to take a swig.
- 10 - Same as 9, except with categories of things, e.g. football, goalie etc.
- 11 (Jack) - A character makes up a rule to impose, and all players must obey that rule for the rest of the game.
- 12 (Queen) - Never Have I Ever. The charactera admits to something they have never done, and those who have done it must take a swig.
- 13 (King) - The character pours a measure of their drink into a central pitcher. The character to draw the last King has to drink from the pitcher, no matter how terrible the resulting cocktail.
Have fun!
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
The Lost RP Files - Rain's Drunk Tape
You may remember that a tape reading "Play this, dudes, it's hilarious" being delivered, yet getting ignored because of The Lord. Well, I can now exclusively reveal that it was a hilarious recording of a party that Rain and Ironheade had for the ninja's birthday, after IYM. In it, Nick realises his feelings for Stella, and Eddie yells something about eggs.
Enjoy!
*TAPE BEGINS*
I jusht wanna shay, thu, tha, thanksh, you’ze guysh, for like, the besht birthday partiesh ever. Never had a, a propah party since… no, it wasn’t then, I wash only shixty-sheven at the time. Anywaysh, you’ze guysh are the greatesht. I’ve had a fuggin good time, and I really ‘preshiate what you guysh did. You’re all great. Even you, Jaxx. That blade fuggin rulesh. Besht pizza cutter ever.
Enjoy!
*TAPE BEGINS*
“Kickstart my Heart” by Mötley Crüe is being blared over a speaker somewhere. Shouts and whoops are heard, as is the clinking of glasses and random thuds. There is a scraping noise as the microphone is adjusted.
Wasshup, mah… mah main men. Mah homiesh. It’sh yer ol’ pal, Rain, over at the Punchlesh Pavi… Pavlov… whatever it’sh called. I’m havin a… a blasht, that’sh what I’m havin. Thish party! It’sh off the… off the chain, off the hook, off the-
There is a crash of breaking glass, followed by a yell of “FUCK YOU!” Rain bursts out laughing.
F-f-f-Fire Baron’sh havin’ an argument with the wall about who’sh hotter - Shamantha Fox or Linda Lushardi. Yeah, we’re all pisshed, at the mo. We’re all... fuggin shozzled, that’sh what we are. Shept me, of courshe, coz I’m made of… of water. Headbanger, he’sh, he’sh trying to eat the couch, it’s hillarioush. An’ Bounsher’sh shpeakin’ in tonguesh and all.
A voice is heard: “Il concetto di gioco di ruolo come diversi personaggi di fantasia è ridicolo. Essa suggerisce una mancanza di…” It stops, followed by snoring. Someone shouts, in the background.Jonshey, Razor Girl shaysh “a bluh-buncha bananash”. Dunno why.
Oh, Godsh, the wallsh are melting…
There is a sound like a thick drink being chugged. Eddie is heard to yell "I am the EGG LORD!” for some reason.I jusht wanna shay, thu, tha, thanksh, you’ze guysh, for like, the besht birthday partiesh ever. Never had a, a propah party since… no, it wasn’t then, I wash only shixty-sheven at the time. Anywaysh, you’ze guysh are the greatesht. I’ve had a fuggin good time, and I really ‘preshiate what you guysh did. You’re all great. Even you, Jaxx. That blade fuggin rulesh. Besht pizza cutter ever.
And Shtella… if you’re lishtnin’ to thish… I think you’re really-
There is a cry of “DOGPILE!” from the Kill Master, followed by whoops, a scream and some thuds. The microphone clatters as it is knocked over in the ensuing chaos.
*TAPE ENDS*
Aaaargh Fire Alarms!
So I get woken up at Quarter to 9 by the fucking fire alarm going off. I rushed getting dressed, left my keys behind in a panic and had to stand outside on the street wondering what the bloody hell was going on. Turns out they only have one fire drill every year, and test the alarm batteries every month or so in a short burst - a long continuous alarm is the real thing.
Fuck that noise, I want my goddamn toast.
On the plus side, I have no hangover from last night. Lucky me.
Fuck that noise, I want my goddamn toast.
On the plus side, I have no hangover from last night. Lucky me.
Monday, 3 October 2011
I Love My Uni + Sheng Long Progress
So I went out to a party thing at my Uni last night. In one night, I:
- Played a crazy drinking game called Ring of Fire.
- Drank 4 ciders, got tipsy, and then threw up after someone gave me a blackcurrant + cider mix that tasted like donkey piss.
- Got sober again after drinking water.
- Drank one vodka + orange mix.
- Admitted a crush, then had it dashed when it turned out the girl I fancied was a lesbian.
- Made some whacky new friends.
- Danced like mad with some random girls.
- Took off my shirt, then put it back on again.
- Almost played pool with someone else.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Platform Cute for the Diabetes Train Service to D'aaaaw
So, here's all the lyrics to Rain's take on "Part of Your World" without the narrative bits in between. I had so much fun with this song, and I hope you have fun listening to the original song while you read this.
Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you say my collection’s complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the prince, the boy who has everything?
Looking around here, you’d think, “Yeah, he's got everything.”
I've got daggers and nunchucks a-plenty.
I've got gemstones and gold by the ton.
You want finely-pressed suits? I've got twenty!
But who cares? Well, not me. That’s no fun.
I want to be where the mortals are.
I want to see, want to see them dancing,
Ever so light on their – pass me that brandy.
Ah - feet!
Strolling along down the – how much did this cost?
Street.
Wandering free, wish I could be
Part of that world.
What would I pay to spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Bright young meadows, lacking shadows.
Where would I stand?
What's Firaga, and what makes it – how you say?
Burn?
Wish I could be...
Part of your world.
Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you say my collection’s complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the prince, the boy who has everything?
Back at my home, there’s treasure untold.
How many secrets can Outworld’s Krypt hold?Looking around here, you’d think, “Yeah, he's got everything.”
I've got daggers and nunchucks a-plenty.
I've got gemstones and gold by the ton.
You want finely-pressed suits? I've got twenty!
But who cares? Well, not me. That’s no fun.
I want to be where the mortals are.
I want to see, want to see them dancing,
Ever so light on their – pass me that brandy.
Ah - feet!
Stuck on a throne, you don't get too far.
Wealth’s not required for jumping, dancing,Strolling along down the – how much did this cost?
Street.
Down where they walk, down where they run,
Down where they play all day in the sun.Wandering free, wish I could be
Part of that world.
What would I give if I could live
Far from that hustle?What would I pay to spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Bet in your land, they understand.
Bet they don’t make their princes bustle.Bright young meadows, lacking shadows.
Where would I stand?
I’m ready to know what the mortals know.
Ask them my questions and get some answers.What's Firaga, and what makes it – how you say?
Burn?
When's it my turn? I want to go,
Go to explore that world down below.
No wealth for me... Go to explore that world down below.
Wish I could be...
Part of your world.
A Delicious Tangent
An innocent Skype conversation about fictional marriages goes horribly wrong. BE WARNED: Spoilers for future RP events!
For Future Reference: Mari is AlextheJanitor, Jake is Del and Tom is me.
[18:20:00] Jake Newton: Now here's a thing
[18:20:14] Jake Newton: Jonesy's nickname is based on her surname
[18:20:21] Jake Newton: so what happens when she's married?
[18:20:24] Jake Newton: Will she keep it?
[18:20:34] Thomas Newton: Just call her Amanda
[18:20:37] Thomas Newton: it's easier
[18:20:39] Mari Fortuna: Mandy!
[18:20:43] Jake Newton: No
[18:20:51] Jake Newton: Mandy sounds like a middle-aged woman
[18:20:53] Mari Fortuna: lolz
[18:21:06] Thomas Newton: it does, doesn't it?
[18:21:10] Jake Newton: Maybe she can be Mandy later in life
[18:21:11] Jake Newton: but not now
[18:21:17] Mari Fortuna: heh
[18:21:24] Mari Fortuna: you don't need logic for nicknames
[18:21:38] Thomas Newton: I've had a horrible idea
[18:21:44] Thomas Newton: like, between the weddings
[18:21:49] Jake Newton: no
[18:21:51] Mari Fortuna: yes
[18:21:51] Jake Newton: stop
[18:21:58] Mari Fortuna: continue
[18:22:00] Jake Newton: doooooooon't
[18:22:04] Mari Fortuna: dooooo
[18:22:10] Thomas Newton: which one do you want me to do?
[18:22:14] Thomas Newton: aaaaagh peer pressure
[18:22:24] Jake Newton: stoooooooooooooooooooopppppp
[18:22:27] Mari Fortuna: do it
[18:22:30] Thomas Newton: fine
[18:22:36] Thomas Newton: here goes nothing
[18:22:37] Mari Fortuna: and I will..do something
[18:22:53] Thomas Newton: Chocolate Jonesy vs. Rain Sundae
[18:22:58] Thomas Newton: or Raincake
[18:23:15] Mari Fortuna: ...nobody wants to be the judge of that
[18:23:26] Mari Fortuna: xD
[18:23:45] Jake Newton: All righ', if no-one else will...
[18:23:49] Jake Newton: :(
[18:24:01] Mari Fortuna: oh lawd Del
[18:24:12] Mari Fortuna: Del, Zeph, and Alex are judges
[18:24:18] Mari Fortuna: by how embarassed they get
[18:24:19] Mari Fortuna: :D
[18:24:25] Jake Newton: Firs' tah finish wins
[18:24:32] Jake Newton: go
[18:24:32] Jake Newton: please
[18:24:35] Jake Newton: just go
[18:24:36] Thomas Newton: I was thinking which of the couples finishes their "treat" fastest wins
[18:24:48] Thomas Newton: determined by votes and RNG
[18:24:59] Mari Fortuna: if it's chocolate jonesy, Erebus would eat her up no problem
[18:25:00] Jake Newton: ...
[18:25:05] Mari Fortuna: ...why do i keep using that
[18:25:13] Jake Newton: umm
[18:25:23] Thomas Newton: because it sounds delightfully wrong
[18:25:27] Jake Newton: Eat yer spouses?
[18:25:42] Jake Newton: kill me
[18:25:46] Mari Fortuna: KEEP IT PG
[18:25:49] Mari Fortuna: 13
[18:25:51] Thomas Newton: I am so blogging this
[18:25:55] Jake Newton: no
[18:26:00] Jake Newton: :O
For Future Reference: Mari is AlextheJanitor, Jake is Del and Tom is me.
[18:20:00] Jake Newton: Now here's a thing
[18:20:14] Jake Newton: Jonesy's nickname is based on her surname
[18:20:21] Jake Newton: so what happens when she's married?
[18:20:24] Jake Newton: Will she keep it?
[18:20:34] Thomas Newton: Just call her Amanda
[18:20:37] Thomas Newton: it's easier
[18:20:39] Mari Fortuna: Mandy!
[18:20:43] Jake Newton: No
[18:20:51] Jake Newton: Mandy sounds like a middle-aged woman
[18:20:53] Mari Fortuna: lolz
[18:21:06] Thomas Newton: it does, doesn't it?
[18:21:10] Jake Newton: Maybe she can be Mandy later in life
[18:21:11] Jake Newton: but not now
[18:21:17] Mari Fortuna: heh
[18:21:24] Mari Fortuna: you don't need logic for nicknames
[18:21:38] Thomas Newton: I've had a horrible idea
[18:21:44] Thomas Newton: like, between the weddings
[18:21:49] Jake Newton: no
[18:21:51] Mari Fortuna: yes
[18:21:51] Jake Newton: stop
[18:21:58] Mari Fortuna: continue
[18:22:00] Jake Newton: doooooooon't
[18:22:04] Mari Fortuna: dooooo
[18:22:10] Thomas Newton: which one do you want me to do?
[18:22:14] Thomas Newton: aaaaagh peer pressure
[18:22:24] Jake Newton: stoooooooooooooooooooopppppp
[18:22:27] Mari Fortuna: do it
[18:22:30] Thomas Newton: fine
[18:22:36] Thomas Newton: here goes nothing
[18:22:37] Mari Fortuna: and I will..do something
[18:22:53] Thomas Newton: Chocolate Jonesy vs. Rain Sundae
[18:22:58] Thomas Newton: or Raincake
[18:23:15] Mari Fortuna: ...nobody wants to be the judge of that
[18:23:26] Mari Fortuna: xD
[18:23:45] Jake Newton: All righ', if no-one else will...
[18:23:49] Jake Newton: :(
[18:24:01] Mari Fortuna: oh lawd Del
[18:24:12] Mari Fortuna: Del, Zeph, and Alex are judges
[18:24:18] Mari Fortuna: by how embarassed they get
[18:24:19] Mari Fortuna: :D
[18:24:25] Jake Newton: Firs' tah finish wins
[18:24:32] Jake Newton: go
[18:24:32] Jake Newton: please
[18:24:35] Jake Newton: just go
[18:24:36] Thomas Newton: I was thinking which of the couples finishes their "treat" fastest wins
[18:24:48] Thomas Newton: determined by votes and RNG
[18:24:59] Mari Fortuna: if it's chocolate jonesy, Erebus would eat her up no problem
[18:25:00] Jake Newton: ...
[18:25:05] Mari Fortuna: ...why do i keep using that
[18:25:13] Jake Newton: umm
[18:25:23] Thomas Newton: because it sounds delightfully wrong
[18:25:27] Jake Newton: Eat yer spouses?
[18:25:42] Jake Newton: kill me
[18:25:46] Mari Fortuna: KEEP IT PG
[18:25:49] Mari Fortuna: 13
[18:25:51] Thomas Newton: I am so blogging this
[18:25:55] Jake Newton: no
[18:26:00] Jake Newton: :O
Saturday, 1 October 2011
Cake
It brings people together. Especially ninjas and orators.
Holy crap, that was the second-best thing I've ever done. I think I scarred a few people while I was at it. Hilarious, totally hilarious.
Say goodbye to your brains, everyone. >:-D
Holy crap, that was the second-best thing I've ever done. I think I scarred a few people while I was at it. Hilarious, totally hilarious.
Say goodbye to your brains, everyone. >:-D
One Coin, Two Sides
So, the RP last night was... odd, to say the least. On the one hand, Erebus and Pech went too far and crushed some Waddle-Dees, resulting in tears all round. On the other hand, Rain got high off an Alpha Snapture Ready and played Peter Pan with Stella.
I love this forum, I really do.
Anyway, Erebus and Jonesy's wedding is on the fourth of October, which means I have to prepare for Rain and Stella's wedding on the sixth in between bouts of Uni work. This means preparing invites the same way Del did, and probably some chat about themes, colour schemes, honeymoons and whatnot. So much to do, so little time...
I love this forum, I really do.
Anyway, Erebus and Jonesy's wedding is on the fourth of October, which means I have to prepare for Rain and Stella's wedding on the sixth in between bouts of Uni work. This means preparing invites the same way Del did, and probably some chat about themes, colour schemes, honeymoons and whatnot. So much to do, so little time...
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