"So... This is your girlfriend, Pit."
"As a matter of fact, she is, Dad. Is there a problem with that?"
"Well, as a matter of fact-"
"Oh, I see where this is going. Just because I have robot arms, I'm leeching off of taxpayer's money or some conservative bullshit like that."
"Well, I can't exactly picture you working for them, lady."
"I'll have you know I was on the streets for most of my life! How I got my arms is none of your business!"
"Yeah, Dad, cut her some slack! She's had a rough time!"
"Oh, so my millionaire actor son thinks it's fine to go dating cyber hobos rather than oil barons! What are you, Tony Stark?"
"You can't even draw the-
...I smell Pipe. Mom, are you high?!"
"Well, my teenage son is wearing a fancy suit, there's a girl with swiss army knives for arms at the table and Reggie's juggling with his feet! You tell me, kiddo, whoo-hoo~"
"What-ho! Look out, the Jerrys are about! Man the lifeboats!"
"...Your family is weird, Pit."
"Hello, Miss Aurora, I'm the kettle you just called black. And more the point, son - surely as your parents we should be seeing some of that money coming in to support us."
"Oh, come on! I just sent you a cheque for £500'000! Isn't that enough?!"
"That's all very well, but we need to be thinking in the long-term if you're going to be blowing all that money on base-jumping from jet planes and absailing down volcanoes-"
"That was one time!"
"Take no notice of him, Aurora dear, he's just being pedan-"
"I SAY WE EAT THE BEAVER!"
"...She's not a beaver, Granddad."
"Huh. Odd. She never spoke up about it."
"Your family is nuts, Pit. So I guess it's like every other family."
ReplyDelete"Granddad Reggie's alright, so long as you board up all the windows. He's getting better - only leapt out of the kitchen window this year.
DeleteStop reading this over my shoulder ded D:<"